Girls , would you approach or wait to be approached a guy you're interested in?

There's this one girl in my college who I've spoken to a few times , but mostly our conversations have been very brief . I think she's a bit interested because she smiles a lot and she indirectly asked me if I was dating someone .

Anyway, today I saw her and I just wanted to see what she does . I think she saw me , but she did'nt say hi or anything , she kinda gave me the impression she was waiting for me to do something.

Girls , if you spoke to a guy a few times and was interested in him , would you be a bit scared to approach him or would you confidently approach him ?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Here's the thing. The times I've ever approached a guy -- even as a friend -- he's gotten the idea that I'm interested in starting things out "hot and heavy," which really isn't my style as far as relationships are concerned. I like to take things slow -- not at a crawl, but just not rushing into things. The times that a guy's approached me, things have progressed at a nice, steady pace and everything worked out well. If a girl gives a guy the "green light" to continue approaching, he's likely to do so in a respectful manner -- yes, with flirting, banter, the whole 9. If a girl just sort of pounces on a guy, he doesn't know the boundaries and things get confused, at least one of them misinterprets the intentions of the other, etc.

    Now if a guy has approached me a few times and I know him, I won't be shy about calling or emailing one or two times, depending on the context of the relationship. I'll be shy about asking for his information, though, because I was raised to believe that that's too forward. In fact, the times that I DID ask for a guy's email or number (even in a professional context), the guy interpreted it as a flirtatious move on my part and started coming on to me afterwards.

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    • Quick question--what would your advice be to a guy who doesn't recognize signs or hints and doesn't use any of his own? Someone who only recognizes verbal communication?

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    • @Palpitation: I know. It's hard because sometimes you are just being friendly or asking directions, and their eyebrows shoot up with that dear-in-the-headlights look or they sort of lean in and smile or ask you to come out for coffee later...and all you needed were the actual directions to the mailroom. Sigh.

    • In my experience there's no such thing as too verbally forward because verbally forward is the only thing I can understand at all. Without clear, concise, verbal communication that is short and to the point I'm totally lost =P

What Girls Said 3

  • after a few times of talking to him briefly I'd probably be confident to talk to him.. but I'm not shy about talking to my crush I get nervous and push through it and talk to him... she could be more shy and withheld about guys.. so you might try to approach her and see if she reciprocates.. :) best of luck!

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  • I would make a signal for him to approach me like: hi!

    Then I would want him to approach me, I will not go to start a conversation after I smiled at him.

    If I am still green with that person, I would definitely not approach him.

    I think you need to show the sign that you are available to be approached like a smile or something because people are afraid to be rejected so they stay in the safe zone.

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    • Quick question--what would your advice be to a guy who doesn't recognize signs or hints and doesn't use any of his own? Someone who only recognizes verbal communication?

    • Well, if it's verbal communication, talk to him. Research shows that the more time you spend with them the more they like you.

  • I wait for him to approach me but I do it because I want to be more attractive to the guy. Like I will sit there by myself on my computer for half an hour and wait for him to invite me over for a chess game but I won't initiate contact all the time. When I see him around, I never say hi to him unless he says hi to me first.

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What Guys Said 1

  • I would think most people--guy or girl--would rather be approached than do the approaching themselves because it eliminates the "risk" and the uncertainty involved, as well as opens up with you (the person being approached) being complimented in the form of an approach.

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