So I met this guy on facebook about two weeks ago. We met for coffee a week ago. We've been talking mostly online all week and some texting. Then I asked him to go to lunch and he said he'd let me know because he had an exam to work on. Then he starts conversation with me online around lunchtime and tells me he's done with his test. But he doesn't mention lunch. And by that time, I had already made plans with someone else. But I ask about lunch anyway to see what he says. And then he calls me, but I told him I already made other plans. So he jokes a bit and says he waited too long and that maybe we could do it another time. We joke a bit and then I tell him that there's always later today and we could hang out then because I do get hungry later in the day too. So we joke a bit more and he says he's usually not hungry til dinner anyway. So he says, yeah, maybe we could do that. So he tells me to call him after I get off of work.
How does that sound? I don't want to sound like I have nothing else to do, but I did want to hang out with him today. He also always suggests we do stuff, but then never sets a date or time until I bring it up again. So I don't know, maybe he's shy?
Most Helpful Guy
That shows he is not dedicated to you or maybe he is not organized in his head. He should be aware that he is wasting your time. He might be absent minded and oblivious. If he really wants to go on a date with you then he will make the efforts to make it happen. He's not making the efforts needed. If he is 20 or older he should know that he and you do not have an infinite supply of time.
I recently went on a coffee date with a friend of mine and I asked her when she would have time, and we both determined a time to meet. She had a busy schedule, but she found a time slot when she was free. Then we had coffee when we agreed. Arranging a time and place to go on a date should not be difficult. It requires little effort to say "I am free at such-and-such time and we can meet you at such-and-such place."
You are not acting desperate, he is just making your life difficult. He should straight up ask you when you are free and the both of you should agree on a specific time and place. When he says "we should hang out or do lunch," then you should ask, "when?" The next time the subject of going on a date is brought up by either you or him, you should ask him which specific day he is free and make it a real date.
Don't allow the conversation to end with the words "we should hang out sometime." Your next conversation should end with you knowing a very specific time. Give him one more chance. But I can tell he is testing your patience. If he will not fulfill his obligations next time, then it shows he's just not that into you.0