Should I be patient with this girl or should I leave?

I've been speaking to this girl on Skype now for 7 months, we met on another site and I was using web cam, I got speaking with her and I really liked her. She obviously seen me on cam and seen my pics. We speak voice and even fall asleep together on Skype but she refuses to go on cam and refuses to send me a pic (a normal full body pic, nothing sexy I only want to see her). I have seen a pic but only her face and shoulders. She say she loves me and says she will do those3 things when she is ready to but I feel like I have fallen in love with a shadow.. I have her as buddy on Facebook she and has no pics. She likes me to be seen as in a relationship with her on her status yet it is limited to only she and I that can view it as that no one else would be able to see that status. I am willing to let everyone see. She does live 250 miles away, but I have said I would go up and visit she refuses that. She says all the things to me that you would say if you in a relationship and she is keeping me holding on because of that. I believe everything she says to me but her denial is getting to me and her refusals.. How long would you wait, I don't know if she keeping me there because she loves chatting to me or because she docent speak to many other people and I fill in her time.. I would really love her just to send me a pic of herself so I can see who I am chatting to and I find it unfair that she's seen and see's me on cam as I've got nothing to hide.. She has described herself and told me everything and I believe her and I don't see why it is so difficult for me to see her. I have set myself a time limit of 9 months and if she hasn't sent me pic by then I would go, do you think this right... I really have fell for this girl and the longer she leaves it the more I think she is hiding something...


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Most Helpful Girl

  • That sounds really odd to me (personally). Seven months is a long time and if she's saying she loves you and acts as if she wants to be in a relationship with you I think that's completely weird she'd expect that from you without you even knowing who you're doing this with.

    If it were me, I would bring it up and let her know how you feel. If she honestly cannot understand where you're coming from, after seven months, she's obviously hiding something and/or not worth your time.

    Is there a possibility she is just scared of what you'll think of her appearance? If that's the case while you're talking to her reassure her so she'll feel more comfortable and hopefully do it.

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    • Thats my point I think I have been great in my patience and not even seeing her. I have brought it up to her, and she know her apperance is not essential to me, but her excuse is always the same and her reply is always stop pushing me ill show you when I'm ready.. But its the girl I like and I want to move further on in the so called relationship..

    • Right and I agree you have been great in your patience! I think you should explain this to her, that you have been patient and you want the relationship to go further but that can't happen if you can't even see who you are talking to. Simple as that, she doesn't need to hear it from you but the truth is few guys would even wait as long as you have.

What Girls Said 4

  • Shes hiding for a certain reason. She may have very good reasons why which is very respectful of you to have been patient and given her the opportunity. At some point though, she has to otherwise you can't have a relationship. You need to tell her that you very much like her and want something more but you can't if she is hiding and that you will need to move on because you can't have a relationship like that forever. Be kind, gentle and loving but very honest and upfront... then if nothing comes of it, move on.

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  • First thing that comes to mind is insecurity and I know this because I've been on the other end of that situation. Granted it didn't take me 7 months to show myself to my boyfriend, maybe a couple.

    My answer to your question...

    If you truly truly don't care about whatever "insecurities" she may or may not be hiding, then you shouldn't push her. Trust her and be patient.

    If you do care but are saying you don't because you assume she's just perfect, then get out now. For your and her sake.

    If it comes down to you think she's hiding something else... well, that's beyond seeing a picture of her body. If she's hiding the relationship for another reason, that's something you can only talk to her about.

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  • That seems so odd. It can be one of two things: she is hiding her body as she may be embarrassed by weight or other feature, or she is hididng a personal thing, like maybe she has a serious boyfriend she lives with or going through a divorce and lives with that man stil.. There can be a milion reasons. If she doesn't send you a picture soon then I would not wait anymore, obv she's not as serious as you are.

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  • Yes, forget it if she hasn't sent you a pic in 9 months or let you go see her. What good is only having a Skype romance?

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What Guys Said 1

  • I would have left her after 3 months.

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