Is it unfair to expect him to lift heavy things for me?

We are cleaning a fish tank, and was sorting stones from gravel. He left me twice to pick up the 20l bucket filled with gravel, to carry it over and lift to empty into a more than waist high tank. And he sits there with a smug smile on his face.. Am I wrong to feel a little disappointed?

Updates:
Thanks for all the comments guys and girls.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • First, what is his relation to you? If he is your boyfriend or husband, then it would be fair to expect him to help. Here is my take on this situation:

    If my girlfriend is expecting me to do her hard physical labor, then we are getting into gender roles. I don't mind that at all. That being said, I would expect her to be appreciative and thank me sincerely for my help. I do all of the work and she prepares the post project refreshments. Preferably a sandwich and a cold beer. That's how it would go down in my relationships.

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    • Yes. and definitely say please and thank you so this isn't you dictating to us. We like to feel appreciated for doing this for you.

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    • I want mine with lots of roast beef, on a baguette, lettuce, tomato. no onion, easy mayo and mustard.

      And an ice cold bud.

    • LOL, he's my boyfriend... Your take is usually how ours does go down, maybe he was only a little absent minded that day.

What Guys Said 9

  • yea... I believe the male should always offer to carry the heavy object for the female. typically we are stronger than females physically so why would we expect her to do it when it possibly puts strain on her when we could do it easily? I also see it as good manners and it shows you care for her (or at least I'd hope she would see it that way)

    but yea like others have said it's also important to show appreciation when a dude does this for you. I know I like to be appreciated for thoughtful actions.

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  • well yes he sounds very immature and honestly..quite pathetic?..the male should always,atleast attempt to carry usually heavy or strainous activity..i would never leave it for my girlfriend to haul buckets of gravel...wow..what a lucky girl you are..

    what bothers me the most is you said he had a "smug look on his face"?what does that even mean..maybe he did it as a joke?if it was a joke..then its cool..if not.then he has issues

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    • LOL, I wouldn't have gone that far. I'm expecting a little too much maybe.. Can't see where I'm lucky though..

    • sweety I was being sarcastic..you ARENT lucky if your boyfriend is making you lift buckets of gravel while he watches..thats very pathetic..and no you SHOULD expect him to do all strenosue activity..period..we are built for it..unless he has a pigeon chest...

  • Women want equality, we give it to them... and they still aren't happy

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  • Both genders are equal now lol jk that was stupid of him to do

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  • hey in this day and age when girls fight for equal rights, there is a price to pay

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  • It doesn't occur to everyone, you should have asked for help. =]

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  • Now you know how we feel.

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  • I would lift it for the woman, but not out of any sort of charity.

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  • Ok so wait, why are you disappointed?

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    • Because he didn't offer to do it for me, not even the second one..

What Girls Said 3

  • If it was heavy and you had difficulty lifting it why not just ask him for help. Maybe he had a smug smile on his face because he thought you were making some sort independent woman statement but then saw you struggle. Sometimes guys just can't win; if they offer their help, they're seen as sexist pigs and can get snapped at because its deemed they think women are feeble, helpless creatures, if they don't offer they're inconsiderate ignorant a**holes.

    If you want help ask for it.

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  • I would feel that he is inconsiderate as f***.

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  • That's tragic..

    It's only 20lbs each..

    Bring it to his attention. He probably thought you can handle it.

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