Guys: You just met a girl, and both agree to hang out sometime. Do you plan the date and ask her out? Or casually suggest taking her out and let her make the plans?

and both agree to hang out sometime. Do you plan the date and ask her out? Or casually suggest taking her out and let her make the plans?

Feel free to elaborate past the poll : )

  • I plan the date.
    17% (19)59% (64)37% (83)Vote
  • I let her plan the date.
    8% (9)16% (17)12% (26)Vote
  • Other (explain in comments).
    4% (5)10% (11)7% (16)Vote
  • I want to see the results.
    71% (81)15% (17)44% (98)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
All awesome answers...thanks! : )


Seems like most of you guys do the planning, but expect the girl to pitch in her efforts, too (rightfully so)

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I plan the date. Women don't have much respect for guys without initiative.

    I do try to make it something I think she'd enjoy. And If I can actually manage to come up with something based on something she's said, there seems to be a lot of appreciation for that.

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    • I wouldn't say we don't have respect for guys without initiative, we just assume they're not interested so we move on and/or friendzone them.

What Guys Said 29

  • Generally what I do is this: I choose one of anywhere from 3-5 different locations and let her choose between those choices.

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  • Based upon what I know she likes thus far, I steer the plans so she enjoys the outing, as well as create the mood I desire. I will ask her if any modifications need to be made prior to making reservations, etc. in concrete.

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  • Personally I like to see some initiative because if she is really interested in you she will make some effort, otherwise it sends me the signal of "work for me, you want me, not the other way around". And for me that's a huge turnoff.

    For example, I just got a girl excited about hanging out together and we agreed we would plan our trip the next time we spoke.

    I did my part, I took initiative to bring up hanging out in the first place and I was specific about it too. The next time we spoke, she didn't even bring the topic up.

    So I moved on.

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    • Understandable. It's still expected in society that the guy makes the first move, but he has to know the girl's invested, too.

  • I make the plans. Not taking the initiative and always asking what she wants to do is one of the many mistakes guys make that ends up with them being friendzoned.

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  • It's a bit of give and take, If I'm asking her out I always have the details of the date sorted, If she asks me out I expect her to have the details sorted.

    That way if the other person doesn't like it you two can work on the details together and make it suit both people (time, place etc).

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  • This seems like a tough choice. If you make the plans she might not like what you do, but if you let her do it she might think it is the guys job to make the plans.

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  • usually I make to outing plans and ask her out but I also ask her what she wants to do because her idea might be even better

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  • I generally will have an idea but run it by them first.

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  • I voted A, because that is what is expected, I do it because I have to, not because I want to

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    • Do it because you're a man and women want a man who is decisive and can take control. The big decisions will always require input from both parties "Should we get a dog? Where do we travel? etc" but it's my experience that most people don't really care where you go to eat or what you do do as long as it's fun. That doesn't mean you shouldn't be open to input but your best bet is always to act first and if she has a problem she'll voice it. My biggest peeve is when people say "Whatever you want".

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    • Funny cause if a girl doesn't have them people say she'll date anything. Tradition sucks I guess and so do people.

    • i see it as a chore, burden

  • i will make a plan but also ask her, so she will have a chance to change that plan, because my plan maybe at her busy time.

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  • neither. I casually suggest taking her out and when she agrees, I make the plans with her input but not leaving the scope too wide because girls can't make decisions.

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    • I should defend all women here, but I'm horribly indecisive, especially when a guy asks me out but then wants me to plan it.

    • I agreed with that until you said girls can't make decisions.

  • I'll plan, unless she has a firm idea of what she wants to do.

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  • I would have something in mind before I picked her up, especially if it was a special occasion, but I otherwise I feel like we would just go where the night takes us...

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  • if she feels like dating sure, if not then it can be platonic :)

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  • i don't do either one, so I vote C

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  • It's our job as guys to plan the date and ask the girl out normally.

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  • I don't date. We hang out somehow in a non-date setting with other friends and all that and get to know each other and see if we click and its worthwhile that we do hook up and end up going out.

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  • Not much planning honestly, just go out somewhere and decide on the moment with her :)

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  • A, it's not like I have a choice

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    • This is true... hmmm Kind of makes me want to plan the first date with a guy just to switch things up, but sometimes they like to pay and plan for it all...

    • yeah, I see it as a chore, burden

  • Um, I would just go with the flow lol

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  • Plan something we can both do that isn't too over top but also fun and enjoyable and see where that takes us. I guess that's how I'd see it. I'm pretty random.

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  • I have Plan A, Plan B & Plan C.

    If none of these plans work I go with the flow.

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  • no dating no hanging out simple

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    • What do you mean by that? You don't do either?

    • They still do some arranged marriages in certain parts of the world. Lucky you to have the option, huh?

  • I'll plan the date as long as she is fine with it

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  • voted A

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  • Neither we are hanging out as friends not dating.

    Hanging out is in the friend zone category not the dating category .

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    • Not necessarily...

    • Yes it is, hanging out is in the friend zone category not the dating category, end of story.

  • It depends how the girl is, her personally. But ususally I just ask her to hangout and if she says no I know that she isn't interested.

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  • Depends on the girl. Like, this girl I know, she's the more laid-back type, not the party girl. I went out with her last week and have a date with her this week--both I asked and planned out. But another girl I'm having dinner with tomorrow, I don't really know her as well, and she's the party type. So I let her pick pretty much what we would do.

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  • Just asked a new girl out yesterday. I'm the guy, I enjoy planning the dates, thinking about creating a good vibe, alternating between fun outings and more relaxed and conversation friendly locations. After a few dates, the girl naturally eases up and feels comfortable suggesting places and activities. But in the beginning I always feel good planning stuff and leading things, I don't know, it feels right and natural.

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    • Just reading this answer makes me feel like such a girl lol (in a good way). I have no problem asking guys out and taking the initiative, but it's nice when a guy takes the old-fashioned route and makes me feel like a girl : )

What Girls Said 9

  • if he asks me out, I expect him to have a plan. you don't just go up to someone "hey wanna go out sometime? OK you choose what you wanna do!" I just feel like that kind of takes the fun out of it. if I asked a guy out then I would plan the date. or if he asked me if I had any preferences that's cool too. but telling her to plan it? not a good idea if you wanna go out with her again.

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  • I think the person who asked the other person out should do the planning, of course with input from their date.

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    • Girls almost never ask guys out so that train of thought is moot.

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    • To clarify my answer, if a guy asks me out and I agree, that's my signal to him that I approve of him and what he wants to plan (I assume that if he's asked me out then he already has something in mind, or is down for planning something). I expect him to initiate the planning, but some guys are hesitant for some reason so I guess it's also a good idea to nudge him along with a reply like "what were you thinking of doing/what did you have in mind/I'm free this weekend." Then that allows us to

    • plan it together so it's something we'll both have fun doing.

  • i like when a guy has a plan in mind already

    recently a few guys have asked me on dates, but then ask wheat I want to do, and make me make the plans

    if you're going to ask me on a date, I'd like you to have a plan, and not leave it up to me

    i don't mind if they ask if I like the sound of the plan, or if I have anything to add, but I want them to take the reins, be a man, and make the plan

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    • if I ask someone out, I've usually got an idea in mind, so that when they ask what we're going to do, I have a plan set, and don't leave it up to them

    • Agreed! When I ask a guy out, I have a plan in mind, too, so I'd like him to be the same

  • I think the best thing a guy could do is plan the date and ask her out because if he just casually makes plans the girl may not be that interested.

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  • ask her out and then collaborate with her and make plans that appeal to both of you.

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  • i would love if the guy took the initiative to plan the date so I picked "let her plan the date" but meant it as let him plan it. haha

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    • lol gotchya. That's what I prefer, too, but it rarely seems to happen nowadays

  • The guy should always plan the date. Surprising me is even better. It's a turnoff if he asks me out and then asks where I want to go/what I want to do. I mean wtf?

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  • i'm a girl, but I guess it would depend on the situation.

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  • I like when the guy has a plan and then we kind of end up doing w/e makes both of us happy

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