Are we anything more than sex?

I recently meet this guy that I had a automatic attraction to. The next night he held a house party in which everyone stayed over (including myself). We all had a really good time, chatting drinking and the usual party stuff. He took me out on his quad bike around his property, it was super romantic as he only took me when everyone else wanted to come :) After that we were talking for quite a while then we went for a walk through his orchard and we hooked up, yeah it was incredibly romantic. After everyone was super tired so we all went to sleep, naturally this guy and myself shared a bed and being in a drunk ( not smashed and I knew exactly what I was doing) after I left in the morning everything was fine, gave him a kiss on the cheek and left( I had work early). We have been talking since and he's asked me out to a 'ill Show you a cool place' Date or just a friendly catch up or do you think that he wants sex? I'm the sort of person who things way to much into things so I may be doing that now. But I just need some advice :) thanks in advance


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well first off, you said you had instant attraction. Chances are he picked up on this.

    Two, he invites you over to a party and takes you out solo. So he picked up that you like him AND is trying to woo you. You guys "hooked up." Whether this meant making out, or sex, I don't know. That term is used far too loosely for misc. things. Regardless, you said you met him recently, and here you are already getting all physical with him.

    Attraction + you putting out after such a short amount of time/attention = green flag for him to woo you into bed.

    However, it could easily go the other way and he could really like you. However, this early in the game, it's hard to say. I've been in both scenarios and it can be really, really hard to tell.

    With that said, if you're not sure, DON'T put out. It's that simple. If you want to see what he's truly about, DON'T put out. His true colors will show if you don't give him the goods. I've had that happen before with guy friends who did all sorts of song and dance bs. Once they realized they weren't getting any, they disappeared or turned into total a**holes. For your sake, since you seem worried that's all he's about, hold off on sex. If he gets rude or pissy about you saying no, there's your answer. Nothing sucks more than being fooled by this smoke screen of nice/sweet guy and finding out he was just in it for sex.

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What Guys Said 8

  • It could be either.

    He definitely wants to hang out with you once again. Whether he believes it will lead to another hookup or not is an unknown, until you accept his offer and see for yourself.

    Like you said, you are over-thinking. Simplify it. Would you like to go, regardless of whether it will result in sex or not?

    Yes or no? It is that simple.

    Let him answer your question, rather than you trying to guess what the answer may be.

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  • I would be careful. I have the irky feeling he is a player. I mean quadbike = douchebag in my book. Plus taking you around in his property lol. So he is flaunting his power, guys do this all the time (I mean I even do this), and it is just a way to try and seduce you. I don't know just go as fast as you want to go. If you really dig him and he is digging you then keep the good vibe together and it should be fine. Either way he has you pretty close at the minute so he might be timing it and soon he will go for the close. I guarantee it. So be prepared to give him a solid no if you really not sure about things.

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    • Agreed. I've known a few guys like this. I held out and their true colors showed shortly after. All they wanted was sex and the nicey sweet guy was gone and out came a douchebag. It's amazing, really.

    • I definitely agree with this.

  • Dammit, I needed an orchard at that age ... uh ...

    If he's asking you on a date to a place that's a good sign.

    I would not assume you're exclusive unless he says so.

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  • if it ever seems to good to be true then it is..not bashing him or nothing you should figure out yourself what he wants ask him what he wants out of it..cause with all that attention sounds like he's setting you up for something...quad bike ride...orchands all that fancy stuff..sounds like a movie to me and I don't believe in movie romance.but be honest with him you don't need all the stuff to let someone know how you feel honestly..but my opinion

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  • this guy wouldn't have took you around his place and offered to take you out agin to another cool place if he Just wanted sex! he obviously thinks of you more then just a piece of ass! your overthinking it...

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  • he was drunk right so his inner feelings came out yes it can be only physical and less of emotional

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  • Playa, playa!

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  • If he doesn't want sex, it would be odd to ask you out again. You DO realize he can want sex AND more, right?

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What Girls Said 7

  • No one here knows the guy so we can't really say if he is genuine or not we can only speculate about his motives. Be upfront and honest about what it is you want from the experience. That's the best advice I can give. If you sleep with him again without clarifying that it's more then just sex for you then he is probably going to think it's just sex and go with that. Once you have entered into a FWB relationship the chances of it ever being more are VERY slim indeed so be careful.

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  • It sounds genuine. If he just wanted you for sex the night before, I doubt he'd be wasting his time showing you "a cool place".

    Although he could be just trying to hook up with you again while he's got you hooked. I say go and see what this place is. Look for signs that he really is interested in who you are. If he takes you to this cool place and immediately starts making the moves, it may be just for the sex.

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  • he took you out on his quad after he'd been drinking? cause that's safe..

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  • well I've had guys lots of times "Show me around" and say sweet romantic things, and take me on dates, and do and say everything I want to hear. its the best way to seduce us. unfortunately, these kinds of guys are always the scariest because they are so good with girls that they can be so subtle and so genuine and you would never know they are playing you. keep an eye out, maybe hold out on having sex with him for a couple dates and if he is still interested in hanging out with you even if you do not have sex then I am sure he is for real!

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  • just go with the flow and keep dating him, don't offer sex tell him you want to get to know him more and love hanging out with him. I think girls sometimes forget that you DONT HAVE TO have sex. all you gotta do is say no, or I wanna get to know you more, or I want a relationship.

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  • Ive known guys like that- I think he got such a thrill out of the sex you two had in the orchard he wants to keep it going. I think if he wanted to date you and want to get to know you as a person he would try and take you to dinner or a movie. I'm going with he just wants sex but who am I to judge

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  • To 90% of guys you meet in life - No.

    women are just sex objects to men unless they are in love with them. Anything outside of love, he's just after the sex and that's it.

    Just because a guy doesn't push sex on the first date doesn't mean that's not all he wants. He COULD like you, but that doesn't rule out the possibility that he just wants sex either. Some guys know that certain girls aren't down to f*** that easy, so they will play the role of a guy who likes you so you will lower your defenses.

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    • Exactly. This girl knows what she's talking about. She knows guys.

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