I am so shy and I won't kiss someone the first time I meet him, just because I am not comfortable with it. I have had bad experiences with guys and how they treated me. I know I shouldn't brush all guys with the same paint ? but I feel like they all want one time from me, sex nothing more , that's it. It partly has to do with where I'm going out at night , I know its not the right place to meet guys at bars , but I have joined clubs and met other people, but not people I am attracted to physically . I make it difficult for guys who approach me in a bar because I am weary of being used.
Its not that I don't want a boyfriend , I want companionship more then anything and when I am ready I will let him know. I have guy mates and people reckon I'm the best thing any guy could get , its just getting past the barrier I put up to protect myself is the problem.
is there an answer to being more outgoing and less "up tight"?
this sums up how I feel, basically.
Most Helpful Guy
Have you tried a different environment, perhaps the guys at bars and clubs are more like the guys your used to... or you can't relax in any of those environments, because of the past - have you tried going to house parties, or hosting your owns.
Perhaps joining a local club/organisation, such as a sports club, or a book circle, you may meet someone that way.
The truth is, when a guy is worth knowing, he'll make the effort to break through that "up tight" defensiveness... whilst true that a guy likes a girl to be outgoing - that fact that your going out should be enough for him... if he want's to meet you, he'll meet you half-way.
Time is all it will take, and you're likely to burnt, I feel your cautiousness is warranted, and you shouldn't always kiss a guy on the first date... so I wouldn't worry about it.1