When is it a good time to start dating again?

i just left my boyfriend of a year. in the course of the relationship it was a down hill slope from day one but I thought that I would take the chance anyway! he was a drug addict. he was abusive. he caused a lot of emotional hardship. I am now in the process of "starting over" i.e. getting finances back in order, self healing, etc. Its been over two months since I have left him and I don't know if the feelings that I have are really me ready to date or just the loneliness starting to take effect. I don't miss him, I don't want him back, I don't want anything to do with him, but I do miss having the companionship of a man in all the sense of the of the word (emotionally, physically... etc.) what would be a good time to start dating again after such a traumatic experience?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • It took me a year to really heal from a bad breakup. I cannot say he was abusive but he was emotionally distant and I was really attached to him and I was a hot mess after our breakup.

    So, I would caution that if you start dating and you find yourself not staying true to yourself during the process, you should stop and wait it out a little longer. For me, I gave FWB a chance and that was not true to myself. I thought I was fine and I wasn't. My self-esteem had taken a big hit and casual sex did not fix it, it made it worse. Just take care to avoid the casual sex foolishness that is so promoted these days and also to really make sure you don't end up with another abuser. If you cannot stand up for yourself yet, you should not date.

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What Guys Said 1

  • It took me almost a year to fully recover. I stopped caring about her and what she had been through. I pulled out a note pad and just wrote everything down that I'd wanted to say but never had the opportunity to and then burned the papers, along with a copy of my favorite picture of her. I reminded myself that I am much more than she deserved.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I think that you may be on the right track considering you realized that the previous relationship was nothing but a downhill journey. At least you are being honest with yourself but as far as dating again I think that you need to take a breather...Figure out why were you invested in that type of relationship in the first place. Was it for the same reason you are giving right now, missing the companionship? We have to learn from our past "mistakes" in order of not repeating them. Spend time with family and friends... The ones who know you the best and love you the most. Take time out from dating until you feel comfortable with stepping out in that scene again. Once you feel comfortable again, you will know that you are ready to step out on a clean slate for a fresh start. Take time for you to get yourself back on that horse and when ready, take the reigns and Getty up baby! Good Luck!

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