How can I suggest dating other people to a guy I'm currently intimately dating without losing him?

The guy I've been dating intimately for two months has become unattached the last few days, meaning I haven't heard from him in three days.

I'm recently divorced, with four kids. I'm 30, he's 45. He is divorced with no kids. We're both educated, & have great jobs. We know each other from work (not in the same building), and via online dating. At our one month mark, he noticed I had updated my online dating profile. He mentioned it to me immediately, asked if I was dating anyone else (by this time we'd already been intimate), I was truthful and told him "no." He is just coming out of a relationship with a woman who was engaged to another man the entire time, & he didn't know it, so clearly he may have some issues with trust. Anyway, he proceeded to tell me that he really liked me, & I've since hidden my online dating profile, so has he. Now we are approaching the 2 month mark, and I spoke to him three days ago to wish him a Happy Birthday. We made plans to hang out at the end of the week (we're both off work this week), which would be tomorrow. I haven't received a call or text from him in 3 days, and I don't like it. So, my question is:

Am I within my rights to want to put my online dating profile back up? I will of course tell him that I'd like to continue to be his friend and lover, but would like to continue to get to know other people platonically before committing to anything serious. As long as I informed all parties involved, is that within reason? I really like this guy, but am afraid the lack of communication is undesirable to me. Since I've already been married once, I don't want to make a mistake again. I want to keep my options open, but I don't want to lose this guy, & if he wants to put his online profile back up, that's OK too. I'm actually falling for this guy, but this 3 day hiatus has been disappointing...What do I do?


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What Guys Said 1

  • I would only advise against this, because if the effort was going to be put into this relationship, then you both have to committ to its progress, and remaining online in my opinion is a big NO. He and you have to feel as your priority is this person, and the efforts you make are towards the relationship working, if you feel as if his efforts are limited, talk to him about it and ask him if he would rather reactivate his profile online, but don't mention about yours, because this is taking away the decision for you and getting him to make it for you, and if he wants to maintain his efforts or step them up with you, then you know that his priority is you, and you just need time to settle this relationship as a strong one, but if he wants to reactivate his profile, then I would say, back away, don't keep contact or have very little, because to start a relationship and still have that urge or feeling that you might be missing out is doomed from the start, co0ncentrate on the relationship in front of you, and only activate your profile when you know this one don't or won't work, and the lack of contact is normal, but bring it up and see how he replies, but be loyal because only by being loyal can you expect loyalty, good luck,x

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