Is this the new way to start dating or am I just old school?

I like to people watch and read into people. And I have found that I have meet a 5 girls from 5 different social groups. And they all seem to have one thing in common. They want to have sex before going on a date with the guy they like. You know they want to be f-buddies before they go out. I watch the guy sit there and play with the girls emotions just so he can get a lay out if it. And not want anything more. I asked the one girl why she did that and if she had emotional feelings about this and she said she was fine with it. So is this the social norm?

Updates:
Hey everyone, thanks for all your great incite. I my self am a virgin. yes I'm not afraid to say it either. I wrote this because I have wondered if this is the norm or just something I have seen because its the girls my group seems to attract. I have also seen a girl that I like go after 3 guys all at the same time and the guys get mad at each other just to take her home. it was actually entertaining. one of my close friends whom new that I liked this girl was one of the guys trying to get layed.
after seeing this I have sence stopped pursuing this girl. but again thank you for your comments.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Okay well I have to admit that I have been known to just want fb's and leave it at that with them. Every female is different but I guess I chose to do so because I couldn't find a guy that I felt like was boyfriend material but was good enough to have a sexual relationship with. I just wanted sex and be able to get it when I wanted it. Of course there were ground rules established i.e. no sex with anyone else and if one of us does then we must tell each other (mainly because we knew we were clean so we didn't use a condom with each other) out of respect for each others health. I had one of the best fb's someone could ever have for about a year. We were friends but we also had the benefits. We talked/texted daily but it was just 2 friends having sex without feelings. We're still friends to this day and he's even engaged! I'm pretty sure the fiance doesn't know about our past but I could care less because we don't hang out we just text here and there. I guess you just have to get into a mindset with things if you're going to have this type of relationship. I've sense grown out of that stage and have been abstaining for about 15 months now because I want sex to mean more to me from now on. I'll admit I've been tempted to fall back into my old habits but I try to stay positive and say that my prince charming will show up sooner than later :-)

    Oh but he and I never went on a "date", we hung out alone at his place or with our mutual friends but that was it. I even spent the night with him a few times but we never cuddled or anything.

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What Girls Said 9

  • I think it depends more on the girl's personality and past experiences than on their social group. My best friend tends to 'test' out if a guy is sexually compatible with her before dating him, however, I'm still a virgin because I want to be in a serious relationship with my man and believe that we're really in love and in it for the long run. Like I said, it depends.

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  • Guys are doing this too. I am not like that. If I like a guy then I am going to hold off for a while. Or at least as long as possible. This is all over the place and I wonder if this really is the new dating norm, but I honestly think it just might be. So just hang in there...I guess we will all figure it out.

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  • Well these days that's what everyone is doing. Me personally it takes a bit in order to get to that level. Even to kiss a guy it takes a while let alone some guy I just met and we already sleeping together . Hell NO! Anyways you seem like you prefer a more classy self respecting woman and if you are looking for that well having sex right off is not the way to go. And some women self esteem about themselves is low that that's the only way for them to feel good about themselves which is sad.

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  • I guess that's the norm if you want to date sluts, but the girls worth dating/marrying wouldn't be like that.

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  • I know a lot of girls who use sex to get guys to date them. I'm not saying she does this but it's a possibility. This usually backfires though because the guy might lost interest in them since they didn't have to "earn" it. but there are so many girls who are willing to do this that you can't hold them down just by having sex with them.

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  • I would never be able to do that. I don't know if it's because I'm just only 16 years old or because I'm a virgin? But I can't imagine myself doing that ever.

    I would have to at least really like the guy, be comfortable with him and the other way around, and of course to feel ready and it to feel right.

    Personally I haven't heard about this from where I come from, I don't know if it's because I come from a little country or anything.

    It's not a norm in my eyes, and definitely not ideal.

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  • I'm a girl and I don't believe in having sex with someone until we have dated for at least six months... guess I'll be forever alone too haha

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  • I dunno,but all the guys I try to go out with want the sex first. Or maybe they're just being guys.

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  • Yeah I guess but once the girl or boy falls in love they will know what it is really like to love someone and they won't want to be game playing anymore.

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What Guys Said 5

  • It must be the circles you travel in. I've heard about that happening a lot so I believe you that it's common. However, ALL the girls I talk to want relationships and NONE of them will have sex on the first date so it's either you and I travel in different social groups with different values or that you and I project a different vibe, which attracts a different girl. I envy you greatly.

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  • "if its the new trend.." I'm available forever, but I'm not going to give them any more respect than what they treat themselves as.

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  • i have seen that happen a lot too,but I examine myself and them and I really don't like the kind of people they are I also found out that there are lots of guys out there who werent scaredy cats but valued relationships built from root level.

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  • pretty much dude

    if you want to fight for chick's who give it up for free, have fun

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  • If it's the new trend, it means I'm going to be single forever ;(

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