Why does she never initiate?

We've been out three or four times now and always seem to have a ball. Whenever I make plans she always accepts and will always reply to my texts etc. Yet if I do not make attempts to see her or contact her I will hear nothing from me. I know she is quite busy but should I have to keep making all the effort? I'm starting to wonder if she is really that interested as normally girls have always upped the communication after the first few dates?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • i posted something like this yesterday... The reason I never could initiate anything with the guy I like is because I get so nervous . That I can't even push the call button, or send on text. Half the time when I send the text to him I have to be with someone my sister or friends to send the message. But he just drives me crazy... My heart like beats out of my chest when he text or call me too... but... lately he has kind of forced me to initiate conversation because he stopped... but I'm guessing it b.c I don't but he still text me... also did I mention I scared I might annoy him.

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    • HOW OLD ARE YOU?

What Girls Said 4

  • Somtimes we are just shy or worried about being the ones to say hi first ? I don't know about other girls, but I remember I was really into a guy, but I was a little shy and unsure about contacting him first because I wanted to make sure he actually wanted to talk to me 2 and that I wasn't bugging him or somthing. I sorta knew he liked me, but I wasn't sure how much so I didn't want to be the one saying hi lol If she's still replying and answering your texts and accepts then that's a good thing. If you want you can always ask her why your the one who always has to contact her first.

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  • Sounds like she does what most guys do, the whole not initiating thing.. Like you said, it could just be that she is really busy and forgets or doesn't have time, but she does talk to you whenever you contact her, so that wouldn't entirely be the case. What is her personality like? meek and quieter? That could be part of it.

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  • She's probably very shy. Try to mention in the next conversation you'll have with her that it would be nice if she texts you from time to time. Or maybe she's just not that into you and that's why she doesn't make any effort with texting you first.

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  • shes probably shy or doesn't wanna sound needy/clingy a lot of guys like to be in control and girls think that...so may be she wants you to have the upper hand? I'm afraid to come off as clingy as well

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What Guys Said 3

  • you have to realize that women who watch TV which is like 95% of them all want a man to make moves girls can't face the fact that a man is a natural leader we have to make all the moves.. I was in something similar to what your in got friendzoned for it..now more than ever I test the waters with all women its not fair to be doing it by yourself. cause a relationship takes too as we know. you might not wanna hear this but its time for you to put her to the test for real all the moments and deep conversation cause I know youve had them..i know its gonna sound hard you might get want you want and you might not but its what you do after the fact that counts bro. be real be serious ask her where she can see this going honestly cause chasing someone whos not ready or some one toying with you your real love could be right around the corner. after I got friendzoned one angel had the courage to call me and chase me and care about me..just like you before her I did all the work I got sick of it. cause I learned if someone is thinking of you in any way there going do something that shy stuff don't fly no more this is 2012...theres fb twitter instant message so don't feed into that bs hope this helps and good luck bro:)

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    • thats not the case :( but then again she could be playing him.

    • and in my case shy is the reason I hang out with him and stuff but if you checked my heart rate seeing him or calling/texting my guy it goes up times 10

    • all I'm saying is there's nothing wrong with testing the waters to see where you stand.. cause all humans assume things which is a crime in its self..just ask what could hurt if she that special it won't hurt if not move on...

  • Shes a shy girl, maybe you make her nervous. She has a big thing for you. Talk to her about it watch her reactions.

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  • she's old fasioned

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