Hey everyone. So I've been in a relationship for two years with my boyfriend-lets call him Justin-and I love him very much. But lately, it seems as though the flame has been dying down and I have developed a wandering eye.
My best friend-lets name him Trevor-and I have known each other for about a year and we're quite close. Lately though, I believe I have developed some feelings for him.
I know that Trevor has always had feelings for me, he has told me before, and I've always ignored them and tried not to make things awkward but recently, I've been returning those feelings. I flirt with him, we laugh together, we spend time together alone, and we talk into the late hours of the night on the phone.
One night, Trevor and I were chatting on the phone, with just a bit of light flirting. But then things started getting more intense, and we ended up having phone sex. afterward I had felt so guilty about it but he convinced me not to tell Justin, so I didn't, to save our relationship and our friendship. I promised myself it would never happen again.
But to my dismay, it did. And this time I liked it. This time, it was not so aggressive or rough. It was sweeter and had a more intimate side to it. Now I have developed feelings for Trevor.
I'm caught between two men. One man that I love and care for very much. This man whom I had almost lost because he almost died (but that's another story), and the other man, my best friend. I have no idea what to do, who I should choose or even if I have to choose anyone at all.
Please do not be afraid to hold back. Comments and suggestions are appreciated. Thanks for all the help.
Most Helpful Guy
let's deal with the Justin thing first. two years into the relationship the honeymoon period will be coming to an end, so it's normal to start to have doubts. it's all getting a bit predictable and the passion isn't as strong as it was. up until now the relationship would have ticked over by itself, but now the work has to be put in to make it survive. only you can decide if you are willing to invest that effort.
with trevor, the decision you've got to make is whether:
a) you really like this guy and can see him as a boyfriend, or
b) this is the guy you're closest too (apart from your boyfriend) and you know he likes you too, making him the natural turn-to guy when you think your relationship is failing apart.
if the answer is a, the decision you have to make is whether trevor trumps Justin. I would suggest the real answer is probably b - if you really wanted this guy you would possibly have realized it sooner.
so your options really are:
a) work things out with Justin
b) break up with Justin and get with trevor
c) break up with Justin and remain single
only you know what is the best option. if pushed for advice, I would suggest a to start with (providing you decide you have no deep romantic feelings for trevor), perhaps following with c if you decide the relationship isn't worth saving. be wary of risking your friendship with trevor over this. phone sex you might be able to move on from, actual sex might not be so easy.0