Is this worth giving a shot? Is there even a shot? Appreciate any help.

There is this guy that I liked all through high school and that every single one of my friends liked too and because they were into him, they told each of us crap about each other and because we were young and naive, we both never really questioned it and actually developed an animosity towards each other though, as he told me later, he was interested in me. In Senior year holidays, we started to hang out and after two weeks he introduced me to his family and told me that he never wanted to lose me again now that we were finally talking. I never told him how I felt since I have slight trust issues. I entrusted all this to my best friend (who said she'd make friends with him 'for my sake' in order to make sure he was the right guy for me >> my trust issues) and told her that I was scared to tell him how I feel etc. She always advised me off it. Back then I had no experience with guys though and always questioned his motives for liking me since everything was too good to be true. Now I know he really liked me though for a fact. Apparently I was all he talked about. However, we let our friends get in between again when we got back to school and we stopped talking (I tried to sort things out once but he wouldn't talk to me and accused me of bitching about him which I never did) and the girl I had trusted started dating him a month later. She was his first girlfriend in two years although I was the one who always defended her to him when he asked me why I was even friends with her. We didn't see each other again after Senior year and he never talked to me again. I tried to send him an email explaining all my actions (avoiding him at school) and fears and apologizing before I deleted him off Facebook for closure. He blocked me after. She cheated on him one month after grad and he was gonna dump her but didn't after a break and lots of grovelling. He unblocked me then. Apparently he turned into a total douche after and now flirts around on her. I THINK he's unhappy. His friend also talks about him to me sometimes and mentions how great he is. I saw him by accident when I was out with a friend once in a gig and he was staring at me until he saw I was with a guy and then ignored me. Now he just ignores me when he sees me and won't even look at me. She was with him at that bar and texted me after, asking me how Id been and if Id been on a date with that guy. we've been enemies since the whole thing so I got my hopes up that maybe she texted me cause she noticed he wasn't over me, that his friend invited me to the gig cause he wanted us to see each other. If a guy tells you he doesn't want to lose you and then you lose each other cause you were both naive for 5 years, is there any chance that he still cares?

Ive been trying to forget him for the past two years and now am starting to realize I wont. I can't explain it. I've now dated other guys, have experience and can tell that no one will ever measure up to him. Is there a way I can maybe fix things? I really want to

Updates:
Sorry about the length... I just wanted to make sure I got everything out. Seriously thank you. >.<

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Wish I could come up with something new but just go and talk to him!

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    • how though? he doesn't even look at me. plus his girlfriend is a venomous snake, she's turned him against me before and one of his best friends is also her best friend. I'm not even sure if I can trust his friend that I'm friends with and just ask him or if he'll listen to me or what I should say. I've thought of talking to him but I feel like I need more of a game plan or some sort of confirmation before I go out there and possibly embarrass myself. what would you do?

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    • Man you can't rely on emails and messages..Maybe he didn't check or had the time to reply..I would suggest you to either call and be like its been a while and go with the flow or just talk face to face..If he rejects or make you feel embarrass then he's definitely not worth it cause the guy part which you loved earlier is no longer

    • *the guy who you loved is not the same as before!so in case it doesn't work life is too short to be wasted on the wrong one.

What Guys Said 1

  • There's always a hope if yu've connected once, no matter what has happened since then.

    Much longer separations haven't prevented people from getting back together. But you'll have to swallow your pride and just go straight after him, girl friend or no girl friend, whatever else might be going on with you either notwithstanding

    ARE you willing to do that? That's the question right now.

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    • I am... but I am hesitant as to whether it is a good idea. I am obviously scared of rejection as much as my dignity. That even if I don't get rejected, if you want to look at it the harsh way, I was the one that still came crawling back. What does this say about me as a person? Also, what if I'm wrong? Based on the facts, am I grasping at straws? Ofc you can't know but it's difficult for me to be objective. I just got my hopes up when she texted me and he was staring at me and also, his friend.

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    • i don't mind taking a risk but my problem is more why he hasn't fought for me or made an effort to get in touch with me all this time. that makes his 'feelings' seem so insincere. do you think I should disregard that?

    • As you said, you were both children then, you couldn't expect him to know what's important!

What Girls Said 1

  • A lot of time has passed, I am sure you are all more mature and able to bury the high school issues. Go talk to him.

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    • I'm so torn. I so badly want to do it but the other side of me is too scared to take the leap. Do you not think it's weird that he hasn't fought for me? I've been raised with the the whole 'guys like to chase' shebang, that's why a part of me keeps thinking he can't like me if he doesn't do anything about it. Would that bother you or would you be able to disregard that?

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    • I think you really just need to think about what you really want out of a given situation instead of how you think the other person will react.

    • i think the best way for you to get over it is to stop thinking you will embarrass yourself by doing those things you are ashamed of doing. Seriously ask yourself whether the average person would be embarrassed by this.

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