Why do guys always want sex the first time we hookup?

It makes me feel so awkward when I have to tell them I'd rather take it slow. I'm 17 and a virgin so I feel they should understand, is it really that disssapointing if I only want to kiss the first time we "hookup?" if they really liked me they'd have no problem waiting right?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • If they like you enough they might be willing to wait, but that doesn't mean they have no problem waiting. People, men in particular, enjoy sex. When they're attracted to someone and that person seems to be attracted to them it can be disappointing when they fall short of your expectations, when they put limits on the relationship. Sometimes the burgeoning interest isn't enough to keep that attraction alive given the availability of other attractive and interesting women.

    That doesn't mean you have to change who you are or who you want, just that you should understand that not everyone shares your view of how a relationship should progress. Many people hate being told they can look, but they can't touch. Given the nature of men you're more likely to find this type in a church somewhere, but even they are so desperate to have sex with you they'll marry you at the first opportunity. xD

    Put simply, sex feels good. People want sex. It's only natural that people would want to have sex with someone they're attracted to, it's just a fact of life. The choices is yours, however. If you don't want to have sex, or if you don't want to do it right now... just tell them as much. Keep telling them you want to take it slow, and go at your own pace. If they don't like it they can and will find someone a bit more their speed. This doesn't make them or you a lesser human. Other things might, but not this.

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    • Very well put:)

    • Good advice, however, this gal is still in H.S., so some of what you said is a bit further out for her I think. She still has & should have more expectations of no sex on first, 2nd, and so on dates. High School. You would tell your daughter this...if & when you have one, right?

    • I think my advice is perfectly suitable for any daughter; people want sex, and while she is free to choose not to have sex she has to realize that in light of that fact her other qualities might not be enough to hold someone's attention. If and when that does happen, the best thing she can do is find someone with similar values who is willing to wait for her sexual desires (or at the very least her willingness to have sex) to catch up with the rest of the world.

What Guys Said 2

  • There. If they like you. Sorry to break it, but they probably don't like you deeply and want to be with you for a long time andhave a commitment, they just want to get laid..

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  • Sorry, but yeah for guys its all about sex. Maybe in some cases its not so don't write the guy off if you like him. But don't feel like you have to sleep with him to keep him around, because that is not the sort of guy you want.

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What Girls Said 4

  • Well, by definition, "hook up" means sex the first time.

    If you are dating, then you need to make it clear that you are not going to have sex with them. By this, you need to not give off any signals to him, such as letting him get all over you, too much touching or too personal touching, no making out. You have to set boundaries right at the start or he is going to go for it. "You" have to set the boundaries. Also, be more discriminatory of who you date. You should know the reps of the guys in your school, so date accordingly.

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  • your right keep it for a really realy special guy, its the most special thing you can give to a guy, they really respect that when you get older even though they don't admit it now while your still young, best wait till marriage learn it from other peoples mistakes :)

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  • Then don't "hook up", because it's usually somewhat inferred when you.

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  • sounds like you're just with the wrong guys beause not all of them are like that

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