Why has she distanced herself?

Looking for female answers on this one. So I have been working with this girl for more than 5 months now and from the get go we hit it off really well. For the past few months she would always hang around me at work and text me at random times with quotes from tv shows we both watch. When she went home on her winter break I did not hear from her at all. When she came back she seemed distant in some respects. She does have a boyfriend of 2 years but does not act like she has a boyfriend at all. Brings him up every now and then , but most of the time just talks about him when things are bad. I am trying to figure out how we went from a hot connection to a luke-warm one? What could have changed while she was gone?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Well many things could be going on. First off, she might have patched things up with her boyfriend. Do you know if she spent the winter break with him? She might have, if so, perhaps she realized it was him she still wanted and so that made her feel guilty about flirting with you. So, what does our weird female mind tell us to do, maintain a distance so things cool off and then slowly start talking to him (you) again but maintaining the relationship in a just office friendly way.

    Or, perhaps her boyfriend saw the text messages or she mentioned something about you that made him realize what was going on so he confronted her and in order to keep her relationship she has distanced herself from you.

    Or even maybe she really isn't that distant and has a lot in her head right now (some kind of problem or protect) so she isn't paying that much attention to you without realizing it. Both guys and girls do that, I know I've been in that situation with a guy before and it turns out his problem wasn't with me and after a little while it all went back to normal. Give her a little time or ask her about her behaviour.


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What Girls Said 3

  • Well just remember that things do get weird when your friends with a girl..And like all couples they had problems but maybe they worked them out..And maybe now all she wants is to focus on him and only him.Or she just doesn't want you to get the idea on your head that you guys might get together one day.So she has decided to be like that..You know even we girls flirt it doesn't mean anything...well in some things like for example in your place..Keep in mind that she has a boyfriend so she just takes you as a what ever kinda friend..in other words you are just there to have fun and nothing else.I don't know if you can understand but I try to do my best to explain myself.And if you want to really find out then go up to her and ask her.Maybe she'll tell you are maybe she'll lie to you.It all depends how she feels about telling you the truth.Good Luck!!!!!

  • Although I'm not as old as you- and you probably don't want advice from a teen I can tell you this, when your friends with a girl things tend to be awkward at some times as time goes on. Over her winter-break something probably happened between her and her boyfriend a fight-dispute-family problems- could be anything. At the moment your probably a person who's there for her and maybe she really needs someone to be there for her right now. Ask her what is going on and maybe that'll clear things up!!!

  • Well either they worked on things over her break or she met someone new to flirt with while she was gone. Give it a week or two then text her about it. Ask her how her relationship is and why she is being distant. I doubt she would lie about it... and if you didn't do anything crazy then the answer should hurt you. If she moved on and finally got serious that's great... she was never single to being with or maybe she's waiting for you to come to her. Asking is KEY!!!


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