Girl who seems to attract only committed guys and meet jerks. What is wrong with me?

I feel like I'm not beautiful. Only one guy ever has asked me to be his girl and guys I meet never push through. People say I'm intimidating. And I also somehow get mostly committed guys. What does that mean? What am I doing wrong?

2 nights in my life (in a Coachella-like festival) for you to get an idea:

Night 1, my friend & I were at the alcohol station. A Finnish guy came over and we hung out. He invited me to "leave" but upon getting to the exit, we found his friends waiting for the final ride down to the town. He then said that he should probably leave. He took my number and I stormed off. He texted me the next day though.

Night 2. At the beach. While walking by a small bar booth, I caught the eye of one of two guys who then stopped us to join them.He seemed laidback but then he practically started pressuring me to skinny dip with him later. I told him I'd think about it. My friend and I went to the ladies room and couldn't find them when we got back so we left. The guy texted, asking us to come back bec he won't go to where I was going but eventually said, "Forget it! Have a good night!"

Back at the festival, I tried chatting up this hippie guy (dreads and all) whom I found attractive but, after moments of speaking, he excused himself. I felt bad but at least I tried. When a great DJ started playing, I started dancing even under the rain, because I felt connected to life. Apparently guys noticed because a couple started introducing themselves. I was eyeing this one scruffy Euro guy who later started to talk to me but 3 min later said he just really wanted to know where I came from. He left and 2 min later I discovered he has a girlfriend, and caught him kissing her! What the hell was that?

After all these failures that night, I was becoming sad. I was buying food when suddenly this cute young rich kid guy beside me chatted me up. He was semi-drunk and had taken a hit. When I got my food, I went to a table and was surprised when he still came over. We walked around the fest grounds after and then went to his hotel room to light up. He started kissing and touching me. He didn't have protection so we couldn't do it. I went down on him and he was enjoying it so much that he even teased me about "having been diving" and he was rock hard. Soon I asked him where he wanted to release and he kept saying in me. I laughed and said no, and I don't know if it was the drugs or what, but he actually said "let's make babies." After, he kissed me at the side of my head and started touching me but I said he should just sleep Because he hasn't slept in 2 days. He took me back the next day and I prepared myself for him to not want anything to do with me anymore. After awkward goodbyes, I turned to leave but he called me and asked for my number. I gave it to him then walked to find my friend. one min later I checked my phone and found that he missed called me (maybe to register his number?) I don't know if he'll call; I'm afraid he just did it to be polite.

What's wrong w me?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • because you feel like your not beautiful, your self esteem isn't where it should be. and that's why you attract guys who want to exploit the way you feel about yourself (jerks and guys in relationships who want something on the side)

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What Guys Said 1

  • Sounds like you give it up too fast.

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    • The thing is, when I want a guy, I want to experience him. I don't care at first that he might turn out to be a jerk because I reason to myself that, hey, at least I got what I wanted too. But then it gets old fast and I figure that I lose a lot more. And I also figure that if I don't go with him, then I wouldn't know what he's like and then I'm never gonna see him again and I might regret it.

What Girls Said 2

  • A giant music festival is a bad place to get a feel for monogamy. Too many people are from all over, just looking to have a good time. They are taking drugs, drinking lots of alcohol, looking to hook up, etc.

    Try a better venue --- maybe you're not fishing in the right ponds for the occasion.

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  • In my experience if you wait for guys to always make the first move that's the kind you usually get. It seems to me like the only guys who ever get up the balls to approach a woman are jerks. The only boyfriends I've had who treated me well were ones I initially approached.

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    • But then, it stings the ego if you're the first to talk and then they walk away. And let's face it: those who do have the guts are the nice-looking ones.

    • Just the same there are a lot of advantages to being able to pick and choose who you interact with by being the one who does the approaching. It works best for me. And yeah it stings the ego but really if you can't recover from that quickly you will have much more serious issues in life.

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