Dating this girl who says the guy should pay for absolutely everything every time. Is that fair?

She said she was from the southern states (yeah, Florida) and had southern morals and from those southern morals was taught that the guy pay for everything. Is those total b.s.? We've only been on one date so far, and I believe the guy should pay for the first few dates, but after that I've never dated someone who said the guy should pay for everything all the time and never heard anything about southern morals teaching this. I'm from Illinois. She's from Florida.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • No dude, that sucks.

    I'm with you about paying for the first few dates but not all the time.

    She sounds like she wants a sugar daddy more than a companion.

    I've cut the string on this kite.

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What Girls Said 6

  • This isn't a right or wrong question, but more a question of what works for each person.

    So, for you paying for everything every time does not fly. For her, picking up the tab doesn't work. I think you two will quickly come to an impasse and stop dating.

    I personally don't expect a guy to pay for everything forever, but honestly I wouldn't date a guy who asked to go dutch or expected me to pay for dates unless we were already in a relationship. I am just not in to that. I think it is old school. Guys from my generation are embarrassed to have a girl pay. They don't like it. Old school reciprocation from a woman would be offering to make a home cooked meal for him, but never to take him out.

    Oh, and I don't fault guys who want to go dutch or think dates should pretty quickly be a shared expense, I just am not interested in dating them. Once in a relationship, for me, I will pay to go out and typically my partner will be okay with that. My husband did not even like that and barely likes me doing it now that we are married. He is super old school.

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  • Couple of things...

    1. Life is not fair, let's just remember that.

    2. Yep, southern folks are usually brought up this way, if they are from "good" families.

    3. The older the folks, the more you are going to see this.

    4. In fact, I find it hard to believe that you have "never" heard anything about this before. Even in the midwest I've known this. The young men around here do it. And I don't live that far from Illinois, so I know you've heard this before. Most middle class boys were taught this, at least where I live they still are.

    That said, I don't do that myself, but I know my son pays for everything for his dates, all the time. And his friends do too. I've recently spoken with these guys about this, they are all in their mid 20s. They have no problem with this at all, and were shocked that men would "be that cheap." Their words, not mine.

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    • Well, obviously she wasn't from a "good" family, considering her family didn't teach her "good enough" morals since she had a kid at 17. My family didn't teach me anything about dating, but my college-prep Roman Catholic high school taught me "no sex before marriage" and I stayed that way for a long time after high school. Please don't tell me, "life is not fair" because you have no clue what I've been through in my life.

    • It doesn't matter what you or I, or anyone else has been through...life is not fair. That's the bottom line. Just as you do not want to be judged, don't judge her. And in the future, if you don't want to pay for a woman's way on a date...don't! Tell her up front that you are not going to. Be honest & up front, & you should have no problem at all. Good luck to you.

    • Alright. Well, thanks for clearing that up. "Be honest and up front" should sum the answer up I guess. Honesty has nothing to do with the equation. Really liked her. Only three things I don't like and put in my profile online: No drug-users (pot is a drug too), No lies, and no drama-queens. I can only ask for those three things if I measure up the same way and I do, so... Anyway, thanks for answering and sorry if I got all defensive.

  • that does sound like b.s. if the guy offers, of course I'd let him pay but I wouldn't mind splitting the bill. can't say I'd pay for the guy though.

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  • No.. Women want to be equal so they're going to have to pay for dates eventually..

    If they don't want too, at least they should pay for gas since you're driving them to places.

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  • Well he definintely should pay for everything early on in the relationship. But if you've been dating for a few years, then it's OK for her to pay for some stuff if she has a job of her own

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    • A few years? Pay for everything? Gtfo..

    • Show All
    • It's part of being a gentleman. And if you want success with girls you better step up to that.

    • It's also lady-like for the woman to stay at home and do the housework while the guy goes out and works to pay for everything. If you believe in equality, then the guy should never pay for the womans food early on. Later down the road when they are actually in a relationship, sure figure something out but not right off the bat. If you believe in traditional roles then okay, but only if you believe in traditional roles for both sexes and not just when it benefits you.

  • If I were a guy, that wouldn't fly with me. As a girl, I've been raised to be a self-sufficient, independent woman, and I have a hard time letting the guy pay for me even on the first date regardless of how into him I am...I feel bad. That's just me though.

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What Guys Said 4

  • link

    Of course this is a bit exaggerated for comedic reasons, but still holds a very valid point.

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    • I liked your "argument" with sweet 18. and I watched the video. it's like, "oh so you want equality, huh? pay for your own crap then." or at least splitting the bill down the middle or I pay for my drinks and food and she pays for hers, that seems the most fair. first few dates, yeah, guy should pay, after that hellllls no.

  • Nope, not fair. Women should not be entitled to go places for free just because of their gender.

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  • Dude...Why are you with here is she thinks like that? That is total bullsh*t.

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    • I already told her it's not gonna work out for another reason, having nothing to do with me paying for crap.

  • no its not fair. I wouldn't date someone who expected that

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