I've known this girl for many years, she was married but then last year separated and then divorced. I had always liked her and now that she was single, I finally asked her out to a dinner date and she accepted. Everything went well, I paid, kissed her goodnight on the cheek, agreed to go out again.
Well, then then over the next few weeks, I invited her to several events/dates but she was always busy with previous plans. She was really filling up her schedule with friends and other dates I'm sure. I would have had to ask for a date at her next available opening, and it would have been something like a Tuesday night two weeks out.
Anyways I was kind of discouraged and then got a little busy with work and friends myself, and didn't contact her for two months.
Then I finally wrote her asking her out to dinner sometime and asking when she's available.
She replied saying sure but it would have to be as friends only because she's started dating someone else. I'm not sure how serious this new relationship is for her.
So should I take her up on this offer, and go out to dinner with her as friends? I'd really like to see her again but I don't want to end up in the friend zone.
Most Helpful Guy
There are three possible approaches,
1) tell her I think friends is a good idea, (agreeing with her seriously) and say, but the problem is that you are really hot and I have always had an attraction for you. (This could possibly change the dynamic of the relationship, because every girl wants to feel wanted and hot. The thing is that you need to respect her feelings and if she just wants friends that is all she wants.)
2) Say we can start as friends, the problem is that you are so attractive. Similar approach, but this is mixing the signals. Girls are moved by their feelings so you have to make her feel like she wants to go out with you.
3) Start as friends and see if it progresses
4) Find a girl that can reciprocate your attraction as their are many amazing woman who can
I think while its possible to switch from friends to romantic partners it is hard too. Unless you feel she is the one, I would try and find a girl who could reciprocate my attraction for her. It is better to not have to force a girl to like you, but for her to like you for who you are. It seems she wants to be friends currently and it would take a lot of work to be more than that. Unless you feel she is the one I would pursue a girl who can reciprocate my attraction to the level I deserve.0