My first relationship was a big lie. Any advice?

When we were together we both said we were in love with each other. Everything we had felt so real...she said I was the perfect one for her and that she could see marrying me someday. Then everything went wrong due to our individual circumstances and we couldn't keep it going. As crushed as I was, she decided to make the blow even heavier by telling me that she never loved me and everything she said was just because she was lonely and hadn't been with anyone in awhile and the only person she was ever truly in love with was her first boyfriend from 3 years ago. I don't know what's real anymore. She was my first girlfriend and I was so in love with her and now I feel so betrayed and lied to. I thought the first love was supposed to special and something you'd remember forever, but I regret mine so much because it was all a lie. Any advice?

Updates:
I just want to erase it and pretend it never happened but I know I'll never be able to do that...

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I have been through exactly the same thing. my ex(1st boyfriend) made me feel like he's always hiding or lying about things to me. I really loved him at that time so I always pretended that I fully trust him with no question. I guess I was afraid of loosing him and didn't know what or how I should do. At the end, he used having no feelings on me and haven't found the special girl yet to break up with me after 9 months. Guys can hurt others in this way as well. Now I'm trying to move myself on and I realized that there are such many amazing things that I want to see and do. Cheer up! buddy

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What Girls Said 3

  • It sounds to me she said those things more to upset you, and make it look like she wasn't hurt after the break up.

    I have been through a couple break ups where my exes have said or done things to make me question how genuine they were during the relationship. But at the end of the day, even if they everything they said was a lie, I know that I was genuine in everything I said and that's all that matters.

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  • The pain will pass.. You have to get over it.. Don't think about it that much, she's obviously not worth it... You were too inlove to see it, anyway. First love is special, so sweet..but the first cut is the deepest, so they say.

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  • My first relationship was a lie too, and I still feel like sh*t about it. You just have to realize that relationships are not always what they're cracked up to be, so focus on your goals and try as best you can to enjoy the day to day.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Move on and find someone else. Same thing happened to me.

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  • That's so gross but you must be patient.

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  • She may not have loved you. But I don't believe for one minute at the time she said it she didn't mean it. You can't fake things that easily! She is being spitefull and most likely trying to hurt you. Again if she didn't have feelings towards you she wouldn't feel the need to do this. Don't take this to mean she wants you back but don't get too messed up about what she is saying. What people say and what people feel can be two very different things. She wouldn't have been with you at all if she didn't feel something for you. Whether it's love I can't say, but at least you will have learnt from this experience that love takes a long time to develop and that you must keep your own emotions less involved too early next time around.

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