Met this girl online. Not interested or not ready?

Met this girl online. She actually pursued me. Asked her out on a date. Went well. Texted everyday and she initiated the convo and asked questions. Met for another date, her friends were with and went well again, I drove her home and we talked awhile in the parking lot, she kept staring at me with good eye contact so I went for the kiss and it went well, I could tell she didn't want the night to end but we had no where to be alone besides the car. Kept going for another week and got a 3rd date but again with her friends. This time she sat on my lap pretty much all night, we were real close and she expressed much interest, even kissed in front of everyone. Ended up going out to the car and made out for 20 minutes, she even put my hands on her chest. Next day she texts and says she doesn't think its going to work between us. Said she can't force it to work. Said she doesn't want to be in a realtionship with everything that's going on and doesn't know who is right for her. All the signs I got pointed to her being interested and it didn't seem at all like she forced anything. This was 3 weeks ago and I text her twice since. The first time was just a few days after the last date and I just said we should keep and touch and she said we can be friends and talk. Then I texted a week ago and it was just all friendly stuff (I never tried to be more than friends) but she was very nice and carried on the convo and asked questions. I seen her at the bar the other night and before I even noticed her she was already waving from across the room but I never talked to her. She hasn't initiated any convo since the last date but I really like this girl and want to get her if I can. I don't think I came on too strong, I didn't make any reference to dating and I didn't make any more advances than she. What should I do?

And girls, if your serious about starting a relationship wouldn't you spend one on one time versus going out with friends and your date?


Most Helpful Girl

  • She could have just gotten out of a relationship with someone recently and doesn't want to get too close to anyone. It sounds like that car make-out thing was in the heat of the moment and she freaked out afterward because it was too fast for her. But, saying "we can be friends" means you are most likely not in her I-want-to-date book and she just wants you as a friend.

    If you are into her, bring it up in a conversation how you thought she was sending signals that she was into you and say how you are still interested in her beyond friendship (though not exactly in those words). Based on this answer it'll tell you how to go foward: if she says she did like you at the time/she doesn't like you, there's no use being in a one-sided love relationship so move on. You can still be friends with her but she might find it a bit awkward to be alone with you so suggest going out with her and her friends someplace. If she says she's unsure if she likes you/she does like you, don't be aggressive in attempts to get her and just date around, you might find someone willing to be more than friends. Just realize this doesn't happen overnight, give it time.

    Bringing her friends with her could be a kind of security blanket, to see if you work well with her friends, and/or she didn't know how she feels and wants an opinion from her friends about you.


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What Girls Said 1

  • I think she may not be ready. But there is always the possibility she may have felt bad leading you on...


What Guys Said 1

  • I think she didn't feel it with you, but led you on hoping the feelings would develop.

    Some girls do this.