New girlfriend claims I am "not doing enough"??

She didn't even say what I was doing wrong or right. She only said that I am not doing enough and made it clear that I am on some type of romance probation. She won't even kiss me.

The thing is, I feel like I'm the only one contributing. I'm the one who takes her out on dates and buys her dinner. I have planned trips and will bring her flowers every so often. Yes, these gestures are met with love and affection, but I feel like I am always putting forth the effort not her. And now she's says "i'm not doing enough"?

I just feel like the expectations are always on me to bring excitement to the table. She doesn't take me out on dates. She isn't surprising me with fun adventures, yet if she is not satisfied it's my fault.

So is this a me problem or a her problem?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • She sounds like a spoiled brat. This girl isn't worth your time. She doesn't care about you, she only cares about what you give her. Anybody who will withhold affection like that is manipulative, doesn't care about anybody but themselves. She's immature and possibly even has a psychological disorder. This relationship will be nothing but stress for you.

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What Girls Said 1

  • it's definitely her, if you did all those things for me I wouldn't let you go, she doesn't seem worth it, she seems either immature or has seen way too many romantic movies and has ridiculous expectations. Either way you don't deserve this type of treatment. Either talk about it with her more in depth and make her really explain herself or dump her, sorry and good luck

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What Guys Said 5

  • Sounds like a "her" problem to me. I'd talk to her. I'd say "Look, I feel like I'm the only one contibuting here. I'm the one who plans dates, trips, brings you little gifts. ~I~ do these things, not you, and now you're making demands? What exactly is it that I'm NOT doing?"

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  • Witholding affection is not fair in a relationship. Neither is not telling why one is mad at the other. Tell her if she wants something, she should speak up. But playing manipulative games is not going to happen with you. Stay calm, start your sentences with "I feel" and not "you do". She will tey to get a rise out of you. If you manage to stay calm she might realize she is the only one acting immature here and might meet you on a more open and civilized level.

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  • She needs to tell you what it is she actually wants (she may not care about the things you are doing).

    And you need to tell her what it is you actually want.

    I suspect neither of those are happening.

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  • dump her and never look back

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  • It's her.

    Dump her. You deserve better than this unappreciative, ultimatum-giving, shrew.

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