I don't want to sound conceited, and I'd never say this in person, but on here I can just be real...I'm a good looking guy. I'm not a model or anything, but I have people (girls and guys alike...often STRAIGHT guys) tell me fairly frequently stuff like "I swear you get better looking every time I see you" or whatever. I'm definitely not flawless, and I don't think I'm out of the ordinary good looking. Basically, I don't want to give the impression that I think higher of myself than I should, I think I have a good idea where I stand. I figure when people tell me I look good when I'm not asking or fishing for compliments, I at least look OK and my looks aren't going to be a major issue most of the time, individual women's "types" notwithstanding. I'd give myself a 7.5, maybe an 8 on a good day.
My personality is VERY good if you ask me. I think I have a perfect balance, especially in the sense of what I THINK women want. I'm nice, but I can fight (for good reasons, mostly protecting a girl) and people think I'm tough. But I'm also the first guy to try to diffuse a violent situation, I'm all about good times. I'm a gentleman, but I'm also not a stiff. People think I'm funny, and they love when I tell my long anecdotes, often by request. I'm a well-liked guy, and I'm confident and comfortable in social situations.
The best evidence I have of how I'm perceived by the opposite gender came a few months ago. I had hung out with this girl once (who had asked me out). I saw her again a month or so later (she lives out of state) when she came back to town, and she asked me to come to a party she was going to when I got out of work. At the party, she was very into me. At one point she says, '" so, I was talking to some of the girls [that I work with that know me] and I was telling them how we had hung out. And they all said [XXXXX] is a GREAT guy...and he's HOT!" " And this girl is BANGIN', so f*cking HOT, lol. So the girls I DO attract are beautiful, but why don't I attract a higher percentage when I'm capable of doing it?
The thing I suck at is walking up and starting a conversation and holding it. It seems like every time I talk to a random girl, I get IMMEDIATELY shut down. Not rudely, they just don't seem interested. Why is that, if I'm supposedly hot and a great guy? Why wouldn't my looks get my foot in the door once in a while? Obviously, I'm not perfect, but I feel like my first impression before the shine wears off should be pretty good, and that should work in the pick-up game. And the same girl that shuts me down almost invariably ends up hooking up with some clown that I think brings less to the table. Overall, I do OK, I just feel like more women should approach me, and that I should get turned down less than the way it actually happens. I just don't get it.
Thoughts? Comments? Advice?
PS: Again, please don't think I'm conceited, I don't talk this way about myself normally, it's just for the purpose of this question.
And the way I approach women is pretty conservative. I'm more of the type to just be real and talk to girl like I would anyone, but still subtly make it known that I'm available. I tend to go against the old-school game of the guy chasing the girl. I like a girl who...
Most Helpful Girl
The following may sound harsh on first read-through, but I'm writing it all in a positive tone simply to help you see a couple of things that women do tend to complain/worry about. You're probably a great guy. :-) Okay, here goes:
There's something about the way you look when you are approaching that is a turn-off. I can't pin-point it without a specific play-by-play of how you've approached on three or four different occasions, the responses, etc.
Possibly the notion that you think so much of yourself is evident and some of the women you approach see it as cocky or obnoxious. Consider the personalities of the women who DO connect with you. Are they sort of weak and subservient, unopinionated and waiting for you to make up their minds for them? The women who reject you, what do they all have in common?
If you can't point specifics about the women you're approaching, you're possibly more interested and involved in your own thoughts than in what they are looking for.
Hang in there. Just take a closer look at what's going on around you and you should be able to figure the issue out.0
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