I'm unlucky in love

Well I most be really unlucky when it comes to finding love,..I know so much about it,..but I can't seem to get it,...and if I do I get Heartbroken like recently! I didn't ever think I would cry so much over a girl,..but man did I cry,...eyes got swollen and everything,...I mean I'm a f***ing nice guy,...but all that gets me is a good stepping on or tossing.

Maybe I should be a bad guy since they always seem to get love,..or even guys who see making love no more than sex,..i mean I decided to not be a man hoe,..but what does that get me nothing,..I'm always there for my girls,..but when am I gonna get my peace of heaven,...think I'm impatient? Maybe I need to change myself? HUH I don't know,..but the word love is becoming one of my most hated WORDS!! :(


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I can definitely relate to your problems and concerns since I too was just there. I've been through some really tough problems concerning love and dating recently myself, to the point where I was ready to give up. Here is my advice to you:

    Girls don't like it when a guy offers them happiness on a silver platter. You gotta make us earn it. I mean, you don't have to be close-minded or not talk to us, but make us work a little bit to be with you. If we happen to be free one day, you're busy. Don't call her every day, make her call you, and don't answer your phone all the time. I know that's hard, but trust me, it will pay off in the long run!

    The one mistake I've noticed a lot of guys do is always offer to be there for the girl whenever she needs it. While that's good to do later on down the road, don't offer that up right away; make her earn your respect, trust, and compassion. I wouldn't change yourself though to be a "bad guy". Lots of girls just need to grow up before they realize that the bad guys are always bad news. Sooner or later they'll wise up and realize that they need a guy like you. And remember, if something doesn't work out between you and another girl, don't take it personal; something people's personalities just don't match up. Remember that there is someone out there for you and that person just wasn't the one, even if it hurts to admit that because you really liked them. I'm sorry for the length, but personally, I like all the advice I can get, so I hope you feel the same :) good luck, and even though it's hard to do, keep holding on, and hang in there!

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What Girls Said 4

  • You might need to step back and evaluate the girls that you're attracting. Sometimes it's best after getting your heart broken to not rush into another relationship because that way you can analyze your faults and mistakes. Also, it helps to not attract the same type of girls. Maybe the girls that you're dating sense your vulnerability and prey on that. There are nice girls out there and we don't go for the man hoes as you say. LOL.

    Seriously, a genuine, sweet kind girl exists and she's waiting on a kind guy like you. Your job is to change the direction that you're looking.

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  • I was once told that we teach people how to treat us by the way we react to how they are treating us. If someone treats you badly and you think to yourself "Im a good guy, so I won't push the issue" You are telling her it's ok for her to treat you like that. Very few things go away if you ignore them. People (not just women) will take full advantage of you if you let them. Yes if they see you doing this they know you are an easy mark. Unfortunately this seems to be the person you have been attracting. It sounds like you've just been being too nice. I don't mean that you have to be a jerk, but you can get to the point where you don't allow people to walk all over you without being a jerk about it. Try an assertive workshop. And no your guy friends do not need to know you are going to it. Lol. And who knows you might meet someone there, who can appreciate the sweet guy you are. Bottom line is you need to find the person who is in it for love.

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    • That is a great idea. I never would have thought of that. It would be fitting if he met a gal who was tired of being walked over and they got together!

  • well don't become a bad guy kuz in my opinion I love good guys that can treat me right, is always there for me no madder what and stuff.

    also I admit I do get jealouse and it pisses me off when the guy that I like is flirting with other gurls, but then I realize that he's not all mine if I'm not going out with him lol.

    i wouldn't become a man whore lol.

    i definitely wouldn't change yourself becuz you seem like a guy that I would fall for and you seem really sweet and nice. I would love to have a guy like u. so like I said I wouldn't change yourself. you seem like the perfuct guy. well hope that it helped =]

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  • Wow, you can tell that you are upset and hurt. I say that you need to continue to be who you are. When you least expect it that is when it will happen for you. There are plenty of woman that are looking for a nice guy!

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    • Well don't become a bad guy kuz in my opinion I love good guys that can treat me right, is always there for me no madder what and stuff.

      also I admit I do get jealouse and it pisses me off when the guy that I like is flirting with other gurls,, but then I realize that he's not all mine if I'm not going out with him lol.

      i wouldn't become a man whore lol.

      i definitely wouldn't change yourself becuz you seem like a guy that I would fall for and you seem really sweet and nice. I would love to have a guy like u. so like I said I wouldn't change yourself. you seem like the perfuct guy. well hope that it helped =]

What Guys Said 2

  • A big part of it is whether you go in knowing what it is that you want or go in trying to please her. Some women are smart, wonderful and mature. But many are fickle idiots. When you approach the relationship expecting her to be mature and to know what she wants, you are on the wrong path already. Instead you should go in knowing what you want and setting expectations for her. This helps her confused, Cosmo filled brain to have focus.

    sexwiseman's story below is a very good one (as is his advice in general; take some time to peruse his responses). By approaching a disagreement with his idea of what he wants in mind, he was able to get control of relationship instead of rewarding her for unstable behavior.

    It's not about being a jerk or not being a jerk. It's about being solid in yourself. You can be a guy whose confidence is this: "I am a sweet guy. I expect the girl to recognize and worship me for my kindness. Any girl who can't is not good enough for me."

    Don't worry about looking for love. I don't think that's an issue for you. When you are in stable relationship, you will care about the girl. But don't fall for the idea that women are lovely and want love. Treat your mom well. Other women, establish what you want and toss the failures out.

    Change yourself by accepting what is good in you and demanding that anyone who is around like you for that. Don't bargain or trade kindness and sweetness in for affection. You'll get burned most of the time and won't get a healthy return on your investment.

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  • Problem could be what you're doing during a relationship.....why have the girls stepped on you or tossed you as you call it? Are you being clingy? Are you being too sensitive? When I used to be a nice guy, the problem was that---I was too nice.

    The classic story I always tell is that when I had this first serious relationship, and I would get into arguments with my ex, she would always leave the room angry, and I would always try to follow behind apologizing. Instead she got even angrier. Eventually, I got sick of it all, and any time we had an argument and she left the room, I would simply ignore her for the rest of the day. To my amazement, when I did that, she would be the one coming to me hours later to apologize for having an attitude. So now, I have learned to ignore women when they get a bit annoying, and they actually like that...

    So my point is that maybe you need to analyze how you behave in a relationship?

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