Not sure if I should just let him go

I've been dating this guy for 2 months, and I really like him. He made me feel like a woman. The chemistry was definitely there. The one thing I didn't like was that he was separated yet not divorced yet from his wife, though they'd been separated for 2 years, and lived in separate houses. Well, we went out on my birthday last weekend, and though he gave me a present and bought me dinner, the emotional energy was just not quite right. Plus, he mentioned his wife a couple times and that maybe if his wife had been better at communicating what she wanted then they'd have worked out...Ugh. I didn't say that I didn't like hearing about his wife, though I felt it. Well, he said he was waiting on her to file the divorce papers. Well, he hasn't called since this date. I felt anxious too, Because the energy was not right. Okay, my question is that do I just wait to see if he'll call me, or should I call him and just see what's up? I really do like him. I had mentioned probably like three times that we are open to dating other people, though if he wanted to date someone in our same social group- a club we both are part of- that he can't date me anymore. He seemed annoyed when I said this last time. I really would just like to date him, but when we first met, he gave me the impression that we would not be exclusive. So, I am protecting myself too.

Updates:
Well, he took me out on my birthday at the end of March, and then he hadn't made a date to see me since then. He called several times though and said that he really liked me... but still didn't make time to see me...I was getting the gut feeling that while I know he likes me...he just doesn't like me enough to keep the relationship moving forward. So, I ended up texting him that this is what I felt, and he called me and said that yes, this is how he feels. So, well, at least it's closure:|

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I would just end things with him honestly.Legally,he is still with his wife.And I would bet more than anything that his heart is still with her as well.If she snapped her fingers and said lets try again,you would be completely out of the picture.You must remember,he MARRIED this person because he had every intention of spending the rest of his life with her. Right now,it sounds like he is with you to take his mind off of things.But it is probable that he is working on a reconciliation with his wife...hence not contacting you.Or if they are not quite reconciling,he sure is thinking of HER and what he actually wants. I would leave while I still had dignity.

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    • I feel that yeah, I most likely am the in between person. I agree that if his wife wanted to work on things he would be open to working it out with her. It just sucks that I like him so much. BTW, he finally did call tonight. I was excited, but at the same time I just let it go to voice mail. I definitely think it's in my best interests to keep dating other people. Maybe I'll still go out with him but not as much, and I'll put energy into dating new people.

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    • all falls down.So you might think things are okay now...but if or when the divorce actually starts,you are likely to have even more complaints of his behavior.Divorces are rough on both parties.I just think you should leave before you get in too deep.He still loves his wife. Thanks for BA.

    • Thanks for ba.:) And be glad that now you can move on to someone completely available.:) Good luck!

What Guys Said 2

  • If you already expressed your concern, and he refuses to address them, then there's nothing that you can except to move on.

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  • This doesn't sound good for you. But you don't need him anyway. Sounds like there is just too much going on with him. I would just move on. I don't think it's worth the hassle.

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What Girls Said 2

  • You should just forget about him. He's obviously still so in love with his ex. Separated from someone for 2 years and still haven't been divorced? It doesn't take a genius to work out that something isn't right. Ever thought that maybe you're going to be someone he falls back on if him and his wife don't work things out? He could possibly be using you for his own selfish use. I honestly would recommend walking away from him until he's properly divorced and isn't so 'attached' to his wife. If he loves her still you should leave them to it, they obviously got married for a reason and no one has the right to take it away from them :)

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  • Sounds like he is keeping his options open, and you should too. Try dating other people, if he wants to keep dating you he will... but it sounds to me like he is not quite ready to let his wife go

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