Do you agree with those rules?

I've read a couple of relationship advice books latley and basically they all say the same. Some of the stuff is obvious like

- workout, be pretty

- don't sleep with him too early

- don't nag or criticize him too often

But other stuff I was kinda surprised about like

- never talk to him first

- don't call him first

- never go dutch on a date

- date several men at once and don't go on a date if he asks you out last minute

- let him chose the location of the date and let him pick you up

Or when you are in a relationship and live together

- let him do the fixing around the house

- let him lift heavy things

Do those things really make for better long term relationships? A lot of this seems old fashioned. But it's odd that those books all tell the same, there has to be some truth in it?

I also reas one book that was addressed to guys and I though it gave horrible advice, so I was wondering what you guys think about those "rules"


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Most Helpful Guy

  • This is my view:

    - workout, be pretty - Correct

    - don't sleep with him too early - Correct

    - don't nag or criticize him too often - Correct

    - never talk to him first - Incorrect

    - don't call him first - Incorrect

    - never go dutch on a date - Doesn't matter really

    - date several men at once - Totally incorrect

    - don't go on a date if he asks you out last minute - Kinda correct, but what means "last minute"? Of course if he ignored you for days you better reject him, unless he had a good reason/was busy, or something like that.

    - let him chose the location of the date and let him pick you up - Correct

    - let him do the fixing around the house - Correct, unless you purposefully mess up stuff

    - let him lift heavy things - Correct, unless you're indecisive "where that sofa would better fit?"

    You see, when it comes to Dating/Relatioships/Sex whatsoever, there is a LOT and I mean really a lot of bullsh*t around.

    And the only purpose of it is to confuse people. To make simple things appear complex.

    That's how people sell books/discs/products promising them to "improve their dating abilities" and so on.. those people sometimes purposefully spread misinformation, to make you think you "had it all wrong" .. to make you think that you "need" something to "help" you.. that's all business, it's all about making money...

    Of course no book or set of "rules" will ever help you, because nothing can replace common sense.

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What Guys Said 5

  • These 'rules' are a lot like some of the pua 'rules' for guys. Some of them probably work most of the time on the most desirable people.

    You're likely to lose a shy guy with some of these, but probably pique the interest of a guy who dates and has women throwing themselves at him.

    I'd say applying them without a good sense of how the other person is reacting is dangerous.

    It would be better to develop awareness of their confidence and interest level, and dial your feedback vs teasing and letting them up or down appropriately.

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  • I suggest you burn that book before it warps your mind any farther.

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  • some of these rules are fine if not most of them. Going dutch or trying to go dutch is kind of offensive to some men, lifting heavy thing? ehh not sure about that-if you are handy and can fix something then go ahead if he is not there-don't call 1st? maybe maybe not-date several men at once, yea OK then pick the best 2 and date for a few more weeks without getting hot and heavy then pick the best one-don't nag?, of course-lol be pretty? whatever-Don;t sleep with him too early? yes that is smart

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  • A lot of those rules are common sense, but the ones I think are a mistake for sure, are :

    - never talk to him first

    - don't call him first

    - never go dutch on a date

    Here's why.

    Guys don't talk as much as girls, so girls will get very frustrated waiting on the guy to talk.

    The majority of girls are too timid to make a move first, so making their timidity a "rule" is just giving them an excuse to mask their timidity.

    Third - That's just making selfishness a rule.

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  • I don't think much of those rules really. Which book for guys did you read that you thought gave horrible advice?

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    • Complete Asshole's Guide to Handling Chicks . I think it wasn't supposed to be taken to seriously and it was very well written. It also said that women wouldn't agree with the stuff they write in there, but seriously some advice they give would be instant deal breakers.

    • Show All
    • the whole book was very funny, but I don't remember any funny advice exept for various new sex positions and the assumption that all babies are a**holes.

      I mainly remember the kind of advice that made me go wtf, like if she doesn't swallow break up with her right there, it's not worth it

    • Yeah. Definitely not serious.

What Girls Said 3

  • Oh God, I used to "follow" those rules as well, and I'm single for a while, so it's not really working. I'm trying a new approach now: doing what I want, not what some book is telling me to do.

    Those books are written by Godknowswho and only work on one type of guy/girl. Not everybody is the same so everybody has its own "do's and don'ts" list.

    I would put the notes "never talk to him forst or never call him first" under one name: don't be too eager. But hey, if you are excited about something, let him know! He might get the impression some girls who follow those rules are high maintanance and he'll back off, other guys will like the chase.

    I don't think a good relationship is made because you follow the rules some books gave you. Just get to know the guy, do whatever you want if you feel like it and don't let books lead your love life. We make our lives so much more difficult than it could be. If you wanna text the guy, text him! He'll be happy you take some initiative! If you wanna hang out, ask him! Don't wait for him to take charge because he might as well be waiting on you.

    So actually, no offence to the writers, they have some good ideas and they might work for some people, but I think those rules are just a load of BS. Just do what you feel like doing and see how it turns out, if the guy doesn't like your kind of approach, it's not the right guy for you.

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  • Okay, after a few of those, I stopped reading. I don't agree with those "rules".

    - workout; be pretty: That's nice but..

    - Don't sleep with him to early? I've heard about people who slept with a guy early & they ended up being together for a reallly long time...

    - Don't nag or critizise him too early? Now that one makes sense!

    - Never talk to him first? Guys complain about this all the time on this website. How girls always wait to be approached...

    - Don't call him first? Calling him first or whatever isn't what's going to make him not like you. If he doesn't like you before you call him, he won't like you after!

    - Never go Dutch on a date? That kind of makes sense because that can be kind of insulting...

    - Date several men at once & don't go on a date if he asks you out last minute? This one sounds stupid! Go on multiple dates at once? Seriously? Doing that can get you the wrong kind of guy. And about the whole last minute thing, just because he asked you out last minute, doesn't really mean anything. He could've been really shy - you have to at least give him some credit for that!

    - Let him choose the location of the date & let him pick you up? Don't make him do all the work!

    - Let him do the fixing around the house? You can help. If he says he'll do it - let him.

    - Let him lift heavy things...eh

    There is some truth but not all of them...

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  • Yes! I agree with them all...and my 47 years of experience is my guide. The most important is don't text don't call, always let him be the first one to but then respond. This is in the initial phase of dating because if you are texting/calling then he can't pursue you...which is what all guys want.

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