So my friend has been talking to this guy at her school for a few Weeks and he's even taken her on a date, but today she told me something that both she and I are on the fence about with this guy. She told me that he wants to take things slow cause he's been hut in the past, which I can understand, but she also told me that he's been talking about sex, and they have come close to having sex before. he's making her feel that she's good enough to have sex with but not good enough to be his girlfriend. What would you tell your friend in alone I situation like ? I'm trying to give her advice but I feel like it's not enough.
What would you tell your friend in this situation?
What Guys Said 2
Women want relationships.
Men want sex.
Girls are the gatekeepers to sex.
Men are the gatekeepers to commitment.
So if this guy wants to 'take things slow' because he's been hurt in the past, then she should honor that by 'taking things slow' and not putting out too fast.
IF HE DOESN'T LIKE IT, THAT'S TOO F*CKING BAD! He wants to go slowly and wait for 3 months before declaring her his girlfriend. OK! She can keep her legs closed and resist his advances when he tries for it. And if he has to ask why she doesn't want to do it, she can say "I only have sex with a boyfriend".
It's give and take. And no matter what, she HAS TO CONTROL HER EMOTIONS and not let 'things happen'. She's got to use her head.1
No disrespect to Phoenix52, he laid it out pretty well, but..
Her: "No boyfirend, no nookie."
Him: "OK, I'm your boyfriend then."
Him: "We really need to talk..."
Most likely he's been wounded by someone who cheated on him or some other factor is causing him to be insecure. There's also a pretty good chance that he's not yet over this person.
The other possibility is that he really isn't in to your friend, but he wants a hookup. The "I need time" defense gives him an escape in case he decides it's time to move on.
In any case, this guy could end up being a "project."1
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