Me and my ex had dated for nearly two years. The first year of the relationship was amazing. The second half didn't go well. His life was not full of fun and crazy things anymore. We lived together and he said he didn't had enough freedom to do crazy things with his friends. The recent 6 months, we had many fights on little things. I guess he is emotionally drained. We also have other issues like: religion, marriage: I want to get married before 30 years old and he doesn't want that (we were 27 now). He may go back to Netherlands in one year.
Then slowly he went cold off. Said he needed space to see if he still loved me. I moved out of his place. one week of no contact, then I met him by chance in the park. He said he was nervous when he saw me. He showed me a lot of care and attention.
Then we talked and decided to break up for now. He cried a lot and hugged me tight. We said let cancel the second year and let restart the new journey after the break.
But 2 days later, I went to his place to get my shoes, I found out he slept with another girl in our bed.
I told him to break up forever. He agreed. But I deeply hurt. I love him and want to fix our relationship. At the same time, I can not accept that he sleep with other girls so fast. Until now, he is still sleeping with that girl in our room.
What should I do? Please give me advice. Thanks
Most Helpful Guy
Sounds very much like you are at different stages in life, where you're looking for and expecting different things out of a relationship. IMO this is the underlying source of a lot of relationship problems people have, especially in their mid- to late-20s.
There's not a whole lot to do about this usually. You can wait for him and get yourself hurt in the meantime as he carries on "having fun" that includes dating and sex with other women, or you can choose to move on with your own life and look for a partner who is looking for the same things in a relationship as yourself. Perhaps down the road your lives will meet and he will have decided that he wants the things you want, but for most people these years are too precious to just "throw away" hoping for something that may never happen.
Only he knows what he was doing behind your back, if it was in fact anything, but he did do the right thing IMO by sharing his feelings with you about your relationship, even if you didn't like the words he had to say. That takes a lot more courage and respect for you than to hide it from you while trying to make himself happy. I know that's little solace, but I think many women who have found themselves in your situation would have rather their man come out and say what yours did than take the more destructive path many often take.1