Does this sound like a good idea?

Ok this girl can't get over her Ex and is going on dates with another guy when we have been going on dates for 6 weeks...

Im taking her on a date this Sunday...After the date I'm thinking about asking her a question..Do you wanna keep going on dates like this or do you just wanna be friends, be honest with yourself and don't worry about my feelings...

if she says yes I wanna keep going on dates them its all good...

If she says No I just wanna be friends, Then I'm gonna act like it didn't faze me and after I drop her off at her house and am driving home..im gonna text her and say.."well it was fun while it lasted, but I can't just be friends..because I like you too much and when you get a boyfriend ill disappear... So I guess I can't be your date for prom anymore either, don't worry about paying me back for the tickets..just take the other guy your dating and have fun. Goodbye.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • First of all, I wouldn't date someone who can't get over an ex. That speaks for a long time of insecurity and doubt to come. You might be dating her, but her brain is still dating the ex, dwelling on the what ifs. From that point forth, you should have known that she hasn't healed up and yet and therefore, is not ready for you or for any other guy. Still you wanted to play this game... okay!

    Now, to be honest, all that dramatic text is unnecessary. Six weeks with no real progress and there's another guy? I think you know her real answer by now, and if you pretend you don't, you're deceiving yourself. Even if she wants to keep going on dates, it will be to put off the break up for later, for when she feels better about Herself and Her issues.

    I don't understand how it can be so difficult for you to be her friend "only", after knowing that she hasn't forgotten about her ex, and that there is another guy in line. So you want exclusivity, it doesn't sound like you're getting it soon. I'd remain friends and see how I could steer the wheel in the proper direction, instead of quitting, knowing what I signed up for. Also... the last part about that dramatic text... sounds jerky. If anything, that wouldn't help you.

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What Girls Said 6

  • That's like building up to asking her out, and then right when you should, instead you say let's just be friends. Look, if she doesn't want to be your girlfriend, then she doesn't want to. If she's even considering it, showing a lack of confidence like you are suggesting, is only going to turn her off. If you want to say anything, tell her that you like her a lot and would like to date her exclusively (meaning she doesn't see anyone else but you), and if she isn't down with that, that's OK, but you're going to start dating other women then. Be calm and mature and let her know where you stand. Step up to the plate, don't be a wuss, and oh well, maybe we should just be friends . . . Bad bad bad.

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  • I understand it's easier to text the last part, but I don't think it's a good idea. At first you're totally okay with it but 10mins later when you get home it's like you just changed your mind and she'll be upset about it if you two are close. Just talk with her about it, to say it straightforward: if you have the balls to ask her that question, have the balls to give her a descent answer back too.

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  • No no no .Your entire last paragraph is just...no. Don't send her that. That's like making yourself look like a idiot after getting rejected. If you don't have the guts to say that to her face then don't say it. Even over text. You'll just embarress yourself and make yourself look like a needy desperate guy. You should definitely ask her though about her future plans but if she's going to let it go then it's her loss and you should move on, without making yourself look desperate.

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  • Instead of lying why not just say something like "Listen, we've been on quite a few dates now and I really like you, so I don't like the idea of you going on a date with another guy. If you don't feel the same about me just let me know and I won't stand in your way."

    You're making it kind of dramatic when it doesn't need to be.

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  • Say it to her face. If that was me I would be hurt if you send it by a text. Also it sound slightly mean, don't leave her life if she says no, support her :)

    Good luck with it though, let us know how it goes :)

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  • If you really like her so much, I think you had tell her directly your true feelings about her. If not, just be friends. I never met that before, so good luck to u.

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What Guys Said 5

  • I know it's hard, but if she says no she just wants to be friends, then if you really like her that much, you will be her friend, no matter what you think.

    On the other hand, if she says yes, then you will remain her friend, and that shouldn't change your feelings at all.

    Overall, I would say grow up, it's not the end of the world if she says no, it's not the beginning of life if she says yes. She's got out of a relationship, and is probably very precious right now, so let her breathe, if you know what I mean.

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  • You sound really immature (no offence) why give her an option to be friends if you don't want to be friends.. Grow up tbh...

    Basically you'd rather not have her in your life at all?

    Btw don't text and drive.

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  • If you really like her then be with her as little as possible. Talk to her as little as possible and play hard to get and you will see that she likes you more. Find another girl to go out with also to either make her jeaous a bit and for your sake so you can enjoy yourself and maybe thigns will work out with a new girl. Stop sweatin this girl so much. She can sense the desperation and you do not need to embarass yourself by saying silly things with a text later.

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  • You should act up a little. You've been going to dates for 6 weeks and nothing happened yet?

    Time to get a kiss or call it a quit.

    It has nothing to do with the other guy or the ex. She's going on dates with you.

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  • Did you ever tell her that you want to see her exclusively?

    If you guys haven't had that conversation, if you just *assumed* exclusivity going in, then that ma be where the problem lies.

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