Living with my parents? (I'm 21) can I expect to ever have a girlfriend?

So, basically...I'm 21 and living at home...my parents are very very lenient and don't ask me where I'm going...baby me or anything...i have my own room and we all get along just fine. I worked full time and lived with my roommate...but my roommate had to split earlier this year and we left in September. I was ready to move into a friends house and pay rent (I couldn't find any one bedroom apartments I could afford)...but my parents told me I was welcome to come home if I wanted to. I hadn't been in school since I was 19 and I wasn't happy with the dead end job I had..so I decided id work for the next 8 months and go back in the fall..since I could work only part time and have time for school. But being a 21 year old guy whos never had a gf...I worry no girl will want be with a guy and will view him as a baby. I feel so frustrated...I worked but knew I need something more than what I was doing...and I was on my own...but to pursue extra schooling..I need to live at home...but I'm extremely lonely and want a gf...


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't think it should matter. My boyfriend still lives at home and he is almost 23. He helps his family out a lot and does what he can. He is independent in every other way, he has a car and a full-time job. And when his job slows down, he finds other work to do.

    The important thing is that you have goals for your life. No one wants to be with someone who just doesn't care about their life. It's unattractive because the person basically has no motivation. You obviously have motivation, you are both working and going to school.

    It's impossible for one person to have everything. And it's unrealistic for a girl to expect you to work, go to school, have your own house and still have time and money to do other things. Times are tough and when you are in school it's also expensive.

    I'm in the same position you are in. Although during school I lived on my own and didn't work. But I had the means to do that, and I had to. I couldn't afford a car and gas to get to school everyday. Living away from home was cheaper.

    But I am now facing the prospects of having to come back home. I have no job, and am graduating soon. I am actively looking for work, but I am in that period of limbo. I want desperately to get my life started, and I have worked hard in school. It's just taking time. In the meantime I am moving back home. Yes it's hard not to feel like a loser, but I don't know who can really blame you for doing what you are doing. It's tough out there and if you can live somewhere for free, why not?

    It's hard for me to feel proud with living at home, but it's what I have to do to make it all work. Anyone who doesn't understand is not in your position so they can't really be a good judge of what you are doing. Sounds to me like you are doing your best to survive in this economy and still get some of your ambitions started :)

    You will find a gf! Don't worry!

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What Girls Said 4

  • I would date a guy living with his parents. I know 2 guys who are finishing college and moving back home this summer and I would absolutely date one of them even though they will be living at home. I don't think you should worry. :)

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    • thats good to know...NOW..if I can convicne girls to date a guy that's 21 and basically a freshman in college ( I only have like 6 credits from when I went rite after high school)

    • I know a 21 year old freshman too ha ha not a big deal really!

  • There is nothing wrong with that. At least you're not a deadbeat dad and living with his parents, borrowing money from his girlfriend, and smokes a lot of weed. I know a few of those -__-

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    • lol..yes..i don't smoke and I wouldn't even have sex unless I was ready to support a kid (im also very pro-life and wouldn't be with a girl that would have an abortion nor would I try and get an girl to or support her doing it)

    • I'm pro life as well

    • :D!

  • Yes, sure but you can't take her home for a sleep over. lol

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    • i kno that's why I'm kinda worried I woudnt be able to get one..honestly my parents probably wouldn't care though..plus my room is the bottom level of the house and everyone else is usptairs so I could probably sneak it if I had to

    • It's not your parents I was talking about...no women wants to go have sex in her boyfriend's parent's home. But you can always go to her place! :D

  • yes you are fine, you will get a girlfriend

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What Guys Said 3

  • > So, basically...I'm 21 and living at home

    Aw man I feel sorry for you. Mind you, I was 23 when I moved away from my parents. That's when I first had the means to do it and I jumped at the very first opportunity.

    > my parents are very very lenient and don't ---baby me or anything.

    That rocks. It didn't go as well with me. I had to escape for my own sanity.

    > but my parents told me I was welcome to come home if I wanted to.

    Congrats for getting along. I think my parents would say the same but I'd be subject to their put downs, criticisms and anything else they can think of to batter my self esteem. I would rather live on the street.

    > I worry no girl will want be with a guy and will view him as a baby

    Actually that probably used to be the case. But the economy isn't what it used to be and jobs that pay enough to make ends meet are scarce. I don't think any sane person can fault you for your current situation. And it would be great if she was in a similar position so you can pool your resources and survive out there together. I don't pretend that there's someone out there - hard to tell sometimes, but I don't see how any female with an ounce of brains could reject you because of all that. Best wishes.

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  • It's not a bad thing if you live at home. Times are tough these days. I sincerely doubt a girl, or anyone for that matter, would think you are weird or pathetic for living at home.

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  • Dude, relax. It's called being financially responsible. You're only 21. you'll meet a girl who appreciates you someday so long as you are respecting her. =) Trust me.

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