What's the reasoning behind girls wanting guys to text or call first?

I've learned that for many girls they supposedly don't text first because they don't want to seem desperate or clingy, or even annoying. There's also other reasons but when I sit back and think to myself about it, I have to ask myself if there's anyway to know for sure that the individual I'm texting is truly interested? I mean sure there are obvious signs of attraction but unfortunately in our society today flirtation without actual relationship intentions is common. Of course every person has their own experiences with this some better than others, but what should you look for? Some girls will text first while others stick to their guns about waiting for the guy to not only make the first initial contact call, but all the other ones as well. I could easily say that if your trying to connect with a girl who lives by the standard rule of conversation and is also a laid-back type, that if she never texts or calls you then she probably isn't interested. But the truth of the matter is it isn't always true. Has anyone experienced having to always initiate contact which caused you to think the other person (namely a girl) wasn't interested just to find out later on that they did? I would prefer not to find out when it's already too late.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Honestly, guys do the same thing too, because some guys feel as if they believe they are bothering the girl and all, and us women worry about the same stuff too. Sometimes I wonder why my boyfriend doesn't text me first, but that doesn't mean he isn't interested. He once told me that he doesn't always text me first because he knows that I wake up from my phone bussing with his texts, and he doesn't want to wake me up. I usually text the guy first just to say good morning, and if I get no reply_ then they aren't interested. But if they do, and they hold a good conversation with you, then they are interested. Sometimes you have to put in work to get the solution my friend. :)

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What Girls Said 3

  • I feel like if I text a guy first, I'm bothering him while he's busy or something. I've never had this happen to me or any guys I know do anything to lead me to believe this, but I believe it anyway. I like when he texts me first, feels like it lets me know it's okay to text him. :/

    Sometimes it's because I'm not particularly interested in talking to a guy so I don't feel like I have to initiate. I feel like if he wants to talk to me then can text me and talk to me, but don't expect me to text you because I know nothing about you and we aren't friends. As well as the guy not giving me a reason to want to know him (rather than sometimes this has only happened to me once and only recently)

    Also I hate texting and talking on the phone, so that obviously plays a huge part in it...

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  • Hmm... for me usually the guys that seem interested in me are not the one's I'm interested in which is why I don't text/call first or even back. However, when one that I am interested in is interested in me I don't initiate contact because I feel that they won't like me after they get to know me or are too good for me because I'm interested in them. Yes, that sounds rather pathetic. But I do that. And if he doesn't start something then I assume it wasn't meant to be. & leave it at that ...move on.

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  • its also kind of a safety net to make sure we don't get hurt. if the guy texts or calls first he's usually interested. if she texts or calls you back within the day you called or texted her that's a good sign. if you talk every other day that's good too. if you only talk once a week and you try to talk to her more than that she isn't interested. and as far as content its normal conversation.

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    • Ok yea that does make sense. I will text her sometimes every 2 or three days, even 4 days since I do have things to do. But 8/10 times she will reply and we may talk for two or three hours or a couple of min another day. She has stopped talking to me mid conversation which is weird but she does have a busy lifestyle, It seems she doesn't stay up long past eleven and I mostly text her at night so it's highly possible she falls asleep earlier at around ten sometimes.

What Guys Said 0

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