Since when did dating become such a game?

Like the whole chasing thing and who should text and call who? Or act disinterested when you really are interested in them? Call me stupid but what happened to just being yourself, being honest, and coming out and saying what you really mean? Do people not have balls anymore? Its like a contest or competition. It makes me sick.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I feel your pain; it frustrates me sometimes as well. But the reality is that dating has always been a game. Men and women are different; they think differently and they operate differently, so by the time you hear somebody say, "I don't want to play games," you'll know the game playing has already begun.

    To address the items you wrote: If you act like you're not interested in a guy, he probably won't ask you out. Guys aren't mind-readers; they're more likely to ask you out if they sense a reasonably high level of interest from you. Usually the guy is expected to call the girl, but if you want to call him, there's no rule against that. I would keep texting to a minimum; I've always found texting to be problematic, especially in the early stages of dating.

    What helps me the most is the phrase, "Actions speak louder than words." People have learned over the years that being TOO candid can sometimes cause a confrontation, so they tend to sugarcoat their words. But you can't sugarcoat actions. If a guy asks you out (even if he takes a little longer than you might prefer), he's interested. If a guy cancels a date on you or gives you one of a million excuses for why he can't see you, he's not interested. Try not to make the mistake of taking what people SAY too seriously. Rather, look very closely at what they DO.

    • Thanks. Ur right. Oh I do all the right things. I'm not creepy. I have my own life. I don't take words seriously. I take actions. And all these actions show that they're not interested. I am just so confused as to why They even bother in the first place. Why waste your time to begin with? If I incest my time in someone it's because I like them or want to get to know them better.


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What Guys Said 5

  • well sed.. your like one of those women out there who walk theirown path despite every1 following the common road..sadly I feel you..the whole battle of we want what we can't have just sucks...nowdays I suree people jus yearn for the relationships our parents had in d 80s

  • It is a contest and competition. For attention. Satisfaction of social needs.

    It's a game of numbers and usage of questionable strategies.

    Have you ever heard that a flirt is a game to which the loser is that, who first starts to take it seriously?

    Have you ever heard that every guy you ever gonna meet will only want to get into your pants, that you must be a challenge and marriage is obscure construction of the past?

    And you play only to impress the people around you. You are not concerned about your own well-being.

    But you have an option: Just don't play.

    Let others to play.. but fly your own flag.

    There are plenty of people who still appreciate straightforward honesty and who seek fulfilling relationships with the right partner, unconcerned about social pressures.

    You just gotta find them.. just never include in your search places which include alcohol-centered entertainment.

  • I personally believe that both genders are guilty of playing "hard to get" so it's become quite common mistake if someone is actually interested or not, hence not knowing how to act in turn. It's a vicious cycle really. Girls need to realize that Guys can't read minds. We don't know when you're interested, how interested or completely aren't. Guys need to realize that despite women being more independent and liberal nowadays, a certain level of chivalry is still desired. Just my thoughts.

  • This is so true. I can't believe it. I'm an honest, straight guy, looking for a committed relationship but somehow my last dates disinclined me to keep going... You're right girl. :// But I have no idea why this happened...

    • I also feel a lot of it has to do with preferences. The guys I like don't Like me. They like the bitchy girls who lead them on. The nice good looking guys who seem to show interest at first stop with no reason. Maybe its fear? Ego boost? Who knows.

    • The thing is that I have a guy-friend who didn't call the girl because he was uncertain. They slept together, they have known each other for years yet he was unsure about his feelings. Now he contacted her after 5(!) months. I think guys are far more insecure sometimes than girls. But the fact is that I've become insecure too. That's because girls made me insecure and now I'm a bit lost. So it's a good question why people behave like that all I know is I used to be far more confident. ://

  • I totally agree. It happened sometime in the 80's I think. People started getting a lot more media outlets that showed what relationships should be like that included a lot of the stuff you mentioned above.

    • Don't get me wrong. I'm an independent girl. I go to school, work some, and spend time with family and friends. I don't mind being single. At the same time, these guys I meet will say they want to get to know me and take me out. Well, time goes by and they stop calling or texting me, won't add me on Facebook, or just blow off the date. I delete them from my phone then two weeks later they have called or texted me again only to do the same thing. Its childish. Why waste my time?

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