We broke up 4 days ago after 2 years and she's already on POF should I be upset?

We were together for 2 years and I reactivated my account to look for some new friends just to get back out into the world and do some new experiences and not look for sex or dates or anything like that and her profile came up as a match but she was looking for a relationship. I guess I feel angry and betrayed that right before we broke up she got upset when I asked if she loved me and she looked me in the eyes with tears in her eyes and said yes of course I do why would you ask me that? Then 4 days later she's back on a dating site. How should I feel about this while I am feeling guilty about breaking it off and want her back.

Updates:
To everyone who is commenting that I can't be upset that she is moving on, I am also looking for some clarity on whether or not I should make an attempt to talk to her and try to work things out if she says no I at least have closure and I tried. Kambo Trick3y is the only one who really caught that I think.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Girls move on fast man, they have more available choices than guys, just how it is. In all honesty, what she is doing is not wrong, if you aren't in a relationship anything is technically fair game, sentimentality rarely plays a part in it. You can try to get back together and tell her how you feel, but it rarely works. I would give it a try though, it's better than having regrets at least.

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    • Not true at all! Most girls I know, myself included, take a while to move on. It's not something you can just forget about and move to the next guy..

    • We seem to have differentiating scenarios/views here, so let's take a step back and use facts. We'll start from the top, how long is a while? Are we talking about a month or 2 months? Cause that's not a while, a while to me is like 6 months to a year. Most of the guy friends that I know still haven't gotten with another girl a year after their breakup, while their ex girlfriends (whom I still keep in contact with) generally got into another relationship about 1-3 months after.

    • Still, going on this, let's use neutral facts. It's generally regarded by society that guys should be the one to approach girls, course there are exceptions but this is how it's been for many years. This usually means that girls have more visible opportunities than guys to get into another relationship, it's simple supply and demand. It's not a bad thing, but the truth is, if you have more guys who you know are lined up for you, you have more backup plans.

What Girls Said 4

  • You dumped her and you're going to get upset about what she does to move on? When you dump somebody you lose that right. Lets not forget that you only know she is on POF because YOU were also on there.

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    • Unless she has a boyfriend, you can try to talk to her anytime you like. Although I have a feeling you only wish to reconcile now because she appears to be moving on.

    • Actually I have felt this way since, because I logically looked at the argument that lead to the break up and weighed everything that happened and believe it be a moment of unclarity and not a logical or fair choice that was made on my point, as I said if I can talk to her and she wants nothing to do with it then I have my closure

  • "How should I feel about this while I am feeling guild about breaking it off and want her back?" <- if you broke it off you have no right to be upset

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  • You broke up with her, therefore you can NOT be upset that she's moving on..

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  • I'm sorry but saying that girls move on fast is wrong. You can't generalise like that. Anyway, I do think that it matters that you're the one who ended it. She probably is not looking for a relationship, no matter what her profile says. I assume the fact you ended things with her even though she told you that she loves you made her feel pretty bad about herself. That's probably the main reason why she's on a dating site, to fix her ego which you hurt. I know this is not what you want to hear but I don't think you have any right to feel angry and betrayed.

    I also find it strange that you break up, and then four days later you want to rekindle things. Why didn't you think this whole thing through BEFORE you hurt her? Also, are you sure that you actually want to work things out because you care about her, and not because you saw her on a dating site and are now freaked out that she might find someone else?

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What Guys Said 2

  • Go ahead and try to reconnect with her.. it doesn't hurt and you'll never know until you try.

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  • man get over it there is plety of fish out there lol

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