I am a bundle of emotions, help me figure them out?

Ok, so this is about to get lengthy .. but I really need an outside opinion here and maybe some help with how to control my emotions:

So I recently broke up with my boyfriend of about 7 months. It was one of those long over due breakups that needed to happen but it clearly took me "seeing the light" over and and over to realize this. Basically, he wasn't welcome in my home, none of my family or friends would spend time with him. He wasn't very nice, he had a huge temper and he was at times controlling. He also kept trying to rush the relationship along very fast (ie, moving in after 2 months [I didn't thank god], and moving to a diff city together for work..). Anyways I FINALLY ended things with him for good much to my own relief I now realize and to my family and friends. I now have realized that he has caused me more emotional damage then I thought he had, won't get into specifics here, but I think I'm a little messed up. ANWAYS, back to the point - I've known this one guy for about 10 years and recently in the past 2 ish years we started talking and hanging out alot. I consider him a great friend, and have obviously been resisting feelings for him for a while. Last year some time he actually kissed me one night we were together and I ended up panicking and saying "JUST FRIENDS RIGHT?" and that was that ... so we both have been suppressing feelings for each other for sometime. The day after I broke up with my ex I ended up at this guys house and we talked for a few hours, hung out etc and one thing led to another and we started kissing and just being brutally honest with each other about our feelings .. it was great, I couldn't have been happier... So now within the week we had been spending time together and decided to start seeing each other. Then along came Friday and I had some stuff going on and had got some really awful news in the morning that I was having a hard time coping with (I have had past anxiety issues and this guy knows this... he was seemingly OK with it, as he knows I tend to get nervous and at times I make situations awkward). Anyways, a group of our friends were going out for the night and I don't even know how it happened but I ended up getting blackout drunk probably because I couldn't deal, and this is something I NEVER EVER do .. We ended up at his house later and one thing led to another .. and then all of a sudden I started crying (how embarrassing) and I haven't got the slightest clue what prompted it, and to be honest everything is a little fuzzy, so I'm not sure what else may have happened.. woke up the next morning and he was all "what the hell happened last night" ...

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Updates:
Anyways later on that night we ended up having a talk and he basically said to me that he doesn't think that he is ready for a relationship and he was really caught off guard last night by what happened (you and I both buddy..) and he feels I may have mislead him of my personality because that's not something he wants to deal with ... I explained it was a one off I have no idea what happened, and that my ex had done a big number on me ..
and he kind of said neither of us really took into consideration that I had just gotten out of a relationship and that maybe I need some time to myself to figure my sh*t out and get back on track, he also said I need to work on my confidence .. he likes a confident girl and apparently I am lacking this .. Anyways we left the conversation at being friends for now and spending time together and seeing where it goes ... but here's my issue... I am confused now because I don't know if he actually want
to end up with me at some point or if this whole sh*t thing that happened Friday night ruined our chances .. It hurts a little and I am a little baffled that one thing like that can turn him off/away .. He still sends me texts like Hey .. hows your day etc but they aren't flirty or as friendly as they were before .. He said in a text responce to me that he appreciates me saying I think I need some time for myself before jumping into anything especially with him, and that he is really in no rush

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 1

  • This is confusing. On one point, it seems like he does want you- looking out for your best interests by telling you get over your ex and take time into getting back into a relationship.

    But on the other hand, if the texts seem less flirty and more as a friend, then maybe that's what ya'll are, just friends.

    I say ask him. If he's really your friend it shouldn't be too awkward and if it is, you'll get over it .

    hope that helps!

    -A

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