Dating people who can't show empathy, is it worth it?

I've often told people that "nice" as a descriptor for someone is a very low bar. I've always wanted someone who has the same beliefs and perhaps similar interests and sense of humor. I think I found the person and with talking to each other for a couple of months now. I really enjoy talking to him about our interests and he tries to help and suggests things to try when I have technical problems.

My only peeve with him is, he doesn't seem like someone I can share my sadness and frustrations. He just doesn't respond or show sympathy. He would move the conversation to something, just yesterday I said I was sad because I don't know what my career goals are and his next statement was about his work that just got back from the printers.

Updates:
I have met selfish people. I am trying to figure if a)he is selfish, b)not selfish but does not know how to respond, c) somewhat selfish and belittling my problem. Although I don't think anyone should judge the the question. When I confronted him earlier, he judged my problem and said that its a first world problem, that I have a job and can find jobs easily so I shouldn't complain. If you are confused, I'm quite attached to this guy , I've been talking to him for 6 months.
This is the phase where you are dating and considering yourself in a relationship. The feeling is mutual with the other person I think. There is mutual attachment on both sides and difficult to break.

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What Guys Said 1

  • I'm a bit confused by this question. I'd say empathy, along with compassion are fundamental elements of any emotionally mature individual. Not just that, but an essential, probably the most important quality a partner should possess, at least according to my values. I find it hard to understand how anyone else could disregard it too. I thought that was the raison d'etre of a relationship: sharing, intimacy, nurturing, supporting and the like? If you don't make that profound connection, then what's the point?

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    • I have met selfish people. I am trying to figure if a)he is selfish, b)not selfish but does not know how to respond, c) somewhat selfish and belittling my problem. Although I don't think anyone should judge the the question. When I confronted him earlier, he judged my problem and said that its a first world problem, that I have a job and can find jobs easily so I shouldn't complain. If you are confused, I'm quite attached to this guy , I've been talking to him for 6 months.

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    • I am all about clarity. What I did today was ask if he cared if I was happy or sad. He said yes and asked why. I said I don't feel I get much sympathy from him when I say I'm sad. and said all the possiblitiies a to c., don't think I deserve symp; don't care; don't know how to care. I feel so far it's he wants to think he cares because he is attached to me,

    • *so far it feels like he wants to think he cares because he is attached to me.

What Girls Said 1

  • i see no benefit into dating someone who can't support you and doesn't show they care. unless your dating him for money it just seems like the good does not outweigh the bad. he probably just doesn't care period

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