A long time ago I dated a young virgin girl in college for a while and later kind of split of with her. We made out plenty of times, but I didn't deflower mostly because I had strong religious beliefs at the time. I was friend zoned, but it was alright because she had a crazy personality and I didn't want to get involved with her anyway. However we did have some st8 up conversations later.
I ended up making a deal with her that I would give her personal training in exchange for her cleaning my apartment. The deal worked pretty good. One day I was helping her stretch after a session and I asked her straight up "hey krysta why am I single". She responded with the false cheerfulness "well you are really busy and picky with girls and so forth..." and then I quickly butted in "DON'T SUGARCOAT IT". She responded "YOUR WEIRD and you don't even realize it".
I was 22 year old kid back then (30 now) and over the past few years I have a few girls here and there but absolutely nothing meaningful. I'm successful in almost all other aspects of life. I'm educated, healthy and financially secure. I've done fitness modeling (I'm not cocky) and competed professionally mixed martial arts. However in the girl dept...well that's not going the way I want.
I know it all comes down to my personality. I even have a female coworker say "you look like an a**hole and you act to serious" when I told her about myself getting in a bar altercation last weekend.
The thing is, I genetically have a introverted personality and I HATE IT. It takes me a lot of extra guts and effort to put myself in social situations. My mother has this issue and her father was the same way. The difference is my mother was a beautiful woman all her life. For her, personality is almost a non issue. For single men, different story.
I am on anti depressants (started about 2 years ago). In the beginning they helped big time...made me much more outgoing. However I'm plateauing to my old self again. I recently got rejected by two other women.
Is there anything I can do to change my personality?
Most Helpful Guy
You can't change your personality, but here is an easy trick: smile more
I know, sounds stupid. But that works with people. I am shy and introverted myself. And I had to make an effort to be more "outgoing". Even though I wasn't exactly sure what that meant. You don't have to be cheerful and dance on the table or crack jokes all the time. But having a positive attitude makes a big difference. Also: I bet you stand in a bar with folded arms. Stop that. No one will approach someone with folded arms and a serious face. That just says "stay away". Same goes for staring at your shoes or standing facing the bar (as opposed to open yourself up to the room).