How can you get over having a bad date? I'm sick of messing things up

The other day I met up for coffee at Starbucks with this guy that is interested in me, and I am interested in him as well. But he was so cute and made me SO incredibly nervous, I was a nervous wreck. I am usually a very confident girl and feel I have a lot to offer, but after the date, I just felt like I was not sexy, not attractive, and didn't make a good impression. I was also nervous since he's 27 and I'm 19 and I feel like he's had so much more experience and here I am, a 19 year old girl. I have never had a boyfriend before. I feel so bad because I left a bad impression. How can I get over this?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • If you've never had a boyfriend before, I assume you haven't been on many, if any, dates.

    It's not a big deal. People have bad dates sometimes. That doesn't mean it was your fault, or even his. Maybe you two just weren't compatible. What about the date was so horrible? Are you even sure it was horrible? You said you were nervous, so maybe you're just overthinking things.

    But if he doesn't want to go on another date again, just accept that you two weren't meant to be. There are plenty of other cute guys out there that are your type.

    I really hope he does call you back & ask you out again, though. :)

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What Guys Said 4

  • I know this doesn't add to my credibility in the slightest, but yeah -I screw up dates because of nervousness all the time. Most of it is my upbringing. Don't feel too bad dear. A lack of emotion is something to be worried about, and anxiety turns into romance real quick, with the right conversation and the right situation, it'll turn into something real good. Good luck.

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  • First of all, eight years is a HUGE age difference, but that's especially true in your age range. Why wouldn't you want to meet a guy closer to your own age? Secondly, it doesn't matter if you're a little nervous; if he's interested, he'll call you.

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  • Happened to me too. Such is life.
    You should date guys closer to your age, if you are nervous because of experience. Let things happen in their right time.

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  • Depends on the guy.

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What Girls Said 5

  • The only way you will be able to salvage your confidence and stop being so nervous is to stop putting this guy on a pedestal. You have created this reality for yourself where this guy is this overly-amazing, experienced man who holds all the cards. The truth is that if he went on a date with you, he is interested. Where that interest will lead, who knows. But waiting nervously for a phone call is torture.

    He's a guy, and like any other mere mortal, he has flaws. That you cannot see them now doesn't mean they don't exist. Stop thinking he is the end all to your dating woes. He could be a #1 A-hole, or he could just not be the right guy for you. If you don't stop thinking of him as Mr. Wonderful, you won't be able to be in the right place to avoid seeming needy and unworthy of his attention. Stuff like that just comes through and it is a turn off to most of us.

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  • my dear it happens I have ruined two dates and from each I felt more mature since I know what to do next time... forgive yourself, and move on now I have the third guy but am taking it slow and I'll be more careful this time... its all part of growing up, don't loose the lesson... you need some experience to be a lady and mistakes are part of growing up... don't call him you may look even more stupid, don't try to prove that what you did was wrong trust me you will make it worse...i did it and I had more regrets , relax and move on if he cares he will call you...

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  • A guy I met 2 months ago after the 1st date, called me the next day to have a second date...

    I think that depends on every guy, there are some guys who call a week later...maybe he's busy?

    You have to be very positive when you date guys, they will always notice if you are insecure...they don't like it! and if he doesn't call is not the end of the world...well, I feel sad when that happens too but you're still very young, you should meet more guys! ;)...nobody deserves your tears!

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  • Oh girl no need to be nervous. What has worked for me is just bein myself and knowing that if he doens't like me as myself then, well, I don't want to be with him anyway

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  • i'm sorry. my guy called me 3 days later, and we spoke, he wanted to see me that night but I was busy. then a day later I decided to break the ice a bit and text him so I did and we set up another date.

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