How do I find out what this guy is all about so I don't have a repeat of the last guy?

i have been single for more than 2 years, and that was my first and last relationship, which was horrible because the guy tried his hardest to make me feel really bad about myself.

getting over that relationship and building my self esteem was very hard to do but I definitely am a happier person and have been focusing on bettering myself, in college and work full time, perfect health, no kids. I'm independent ,and working on some other projects

I really would like to be in a serious relationship though, I want to be able to share with my man, be intimate, have fun, be in love, normal and natural human stuff, but I can't do any of that because I don't know how to get that

People try to give me advice but I feel I have heard everything. Maybe I'm just too picky, guys must be intimidated by my beauty and I should go approach the guy then, don't even go looking and just wait for it to happen...

i hate dating, I feel that it is not fun at all because I go through guys quick, the guy backs off when he realizes it is not easy to get into my pants. Some guys don't date or want to date, instead they want to "chill"

i do get hit on but I don't wear any revealing clothes. I'm a petite woman, dress professional/business most of the time and my casual clothes are pretty simple, jeans and shirt.

i have dated outside my ethnic group before and actually it lasted for 4 months but that guy ended up just thinking I'm really pretty and wanted to know what dating another ethnicity would be like.

i have told myself that I would never date a younger guy because they just are not ready for what I am ready for, but then I thought to myself, maybe I am just picky? and I gave him a shot and actually that was the most embarrassing thing ever. oh and I told myself I would never date a guy with children unless I am in my 40's, but then I gave that guy a shot too and it was an awful experience as well (babymama drama)

i tried approaching a guy. And I normally never do this because I'm afraid of rejection and I'm just frustrated with men anyway, but my girlfriend told me to go talk to this guy so I did. Turns out this guy and I have mutual friends, plenty of things in common, he has goals and a bright future and we actually went out on 4 dates but he would say stuff like "you are really really pretty" "my family would really like you" then at times he would be rude and make sexual jokes and then he said "so do you have low self esteem or something, I get the feeling you don't know how pretty you are". 4 dates and this guy hasn't learned a single thing about me, just him talking the whole time about himself. And then playing phone tag. really who does that?

i did meet a guy last week via a friend and I don't feel I have much courage in myself and faith in any guy. I have seen him but only within our group of friends. he texts me "good morning" "good night" little nice things but he is not the first guy to be nice to me via text messages.

Updates:
So how do I find out what this guy is all about so I don't have a repeat of the last guy?


Also what is the best way to approach a guy so that he doesn't think I'm about to throw myself at him? I get the feeling that anyway I do it, I would only come off as desperate, easy, or just someone that he wouldn't be able to take seriously.

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What Guys Said 1

  • I think the only way is to give it a shot. The problem with getting disappointed over and over (like I have, and JUST have) is your heart gets hardened as each experience goes by. It becomes more difficult to take that leap of faith and trust. Instead we become more skeptical about the intentions of others. Convince yourself that there is nothing much to lose by giving it a try but hold on to your principals about how quickly you want things to progress.

    with regard to your rules about not dating certain types of men, I applaud you for trying as it is in the right spirit. Keeping honest to yourself and the guy makes things clear.

    Lastly, approach the guy your interested in by asking him out in a group. Or just chat with him via Facebook/skype (whichever social medium) once or twice and see if he responds by initiating conversations. good luck

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