She's the best for me, when I'm the worst for her

I love my girlfriend to death and I don't know what I would do without her, but I always feel like I am not good good enough for her or not good for her. She's smart and outgoing and her friends admire her. Her friends are ridiculously smart and out going and damn near perfect like her. I'm no where near as smart or friendly as any of these guys, especially not my girlfriend. I'm not cultured like them and when me and my friends get together we act like we don't know how to act on purpose. I feel like I'm only a bad influence on her and that no matter what I do I can never be better than any of the other options of guys she knows (especially her best friend who has damn near the same personality as me). And even though she hasn't said anything, I f***ed up on her birthday and got her a sh*t gift while her friends (no surprise) got her amazing presents. I feel like total sh*t and don't know what to do =(


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Most Helpful Girl

  • So? Who cares about everyone else. My mom always says that the most important component in a relationship is being happy with the person you are with and enjoying your company together...regardless of looks, smarts, money,...or whatever. So if you make your girlfriend happy and if she enjoys being with you...that is all that matters. Just because you think you are not good enough doesn't mean she feels the same way. Why would she be with you if she thought you were less than wonderful? Stop beating yourself up...you probably mean the world to her. Be careful...if you keep on comparing yourself to her guy friends...that might be what drives her away. Just be happy...and work on liking yourself instead of others liking you. And work on being the best you not the best someone else. Be yourself...and enjoy you and enjoy her..and realize that there is something amazing about you that no other guy has and this is why your girlfriend is with you and not some other guy. Another option too is maybe talking to her about how you feel...see what happens...she might reassure you how awesome you are. And when you say sh*t gift? what do you mean? you went out of your way to give her a sh*t gift? or it was at the last minute? or you thought your gift was wonderful but then you compared it to the other people and changed your mind?

    Oh and relationships are not about constantly comparing yourself to the other person...there is a difference between jealousy and admiration towards your significant other. Stop this jealousy or else it might be the death of the relationship. And also stop being jealous of her friends...I doubt that would make her feel good. Just be you and accept yourself. Hope I helped. :)

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    • By sh*t gift I meant that I thought about what to get/do for her for over a month and couldn't come up with anything to get her. So I decided to do something, and in theory it was a good idea, but when I test ran it, it was awful. I' doing something else now, but she knows I'm doing it. Thank you though that did help =)

    • I'm glad I helped. :) Oh..hmm..I see...maybe next time you should ask her what she wants for her birthday or tell her to make a list...that might be easier. And you do know that it is the thought that counts more than anything? Like if she realizes the effort you put into giving her the gift..she probs still appreciates the gift. And get mad at you for wanting to do things for her? that's strange...and forgettable? Hold on...is she actively making you feel bad about yourself?

    • I asked but she's the kind of person who says she doesn't want anything. Yeah she might appreciate it, but in the back of her head she's going to be like "wtf". No though she doesn't actively make me feel bad about myself.

What Girls Said 2

  • If she is happy with you, don't worry about it; you're just being insecure.

    However, if she is unhappy and trying to salvage the relationship to make you happy, has tried to break up with you before, etc. You're probably in trouble. Or, if you use your "shortcomings" as excuses to make her do all the housework and all the breadwinning, well, that's a huge issue. Any of the things in this paragraph call for a breakup.

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    • nah its nothing in the lower paragraph. Quite the contrary. I try and help with stuff or be nice and pay for dinner or something of that sort and she will get mad at me. She doesn't let me just do stuff that a boy friend should do for his girl friend and on top of that half the time honestly I feel like I'm totally forgettable and if I just disappeared it wouldn't make a big difference

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    • I was going to sing to her and play guitar (the song 1,2,3,4, by the Plain White Ts) but I over estimated my singing abilities and didn't do it cause it would have been awful. I got her a funny card that she liked and I'm going to cook her dinner soon when we both have a free night. On her actually birthday I went out to dinner with her and her friends.

    • QA: Awww...that's sweet..you were going to sing for her and play guitar? You are making my heart flutter..lol...I'd love it if my boyfriend was taking the time to practice a song for me...awww..that's sweet. Now you are starting to sound too good fro her..heh heh.

  • I also need something explained: How does she act towards you? Like how does she treat you?

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    • She always acts very nice to me, but sometimes its like she forgets I'm around if she's around her friends. Like she has times that she acts more like my girlfriend than others.

    • Hmmm...so it's like how guys are...they act all great with their girls when they are alone..but when they are with their guy buddies..they act different. So when you flip the coin and a girl is doing it...it still sucks..haha. I see. :P Hmm..well my best advice is to talk to her about this, that is the only way to get traction I think. Like if she doesn't know that her change in behavior with you when she is around her friends affects you negatively.she won't think she is doing anything wrong

    • Let her know what is hurting you. And give her stuff anyway...insist on giving her stuff even if she doesn't want it. She sounds like a intense feminist...wtf...how can she say she NEVER wants anything from you...relationships are all about equal give and take. You can't just take and never give or give and never take. There is no balance. And in this case...it hurts the relationship some how = by her saying no to what you want to do for her or give her is making you feel insecure.

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