Am I making a huge mistake by being too casual with her?

I'm seeing this girl and she's great and all.

But she's really, really outgoing and associates with a lot of guys. Consequently she's dealt with a lot of creeps so she has trust issues and it showed at first.

The last thing I want to do is be overbearing and keep her from enjoying herself. So when we're together I'm casual to the point where it's like I'm not even close to calling her my girlfriend. I don't say anything that would suggest commitment. Its been nearly a month now. So far she isn't creeped out but I feel like I'm being way too soft.

If you were in her shoes, what would you think of this?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm in her shoes. Trust me.

    But it's been way longer than a month.

    And honestly - I'm at my witts end with it.

    Honestly - when a guy likes us, we like to know, especially when we like you back - which obviously she does. The guy I'm seeing, well - when we're together just the two of us, he's lovely, sweet, we talk a lot - but when we see each other out - he's pretty shy about it. I mean, he's told his friends about the two of us, so it's not like he's embarrassed of me or anything. But he never really does anything with me.

    Sometimes if we're in a club we'll kiss, but other than that - nothing. Even if I'm there talking to his friends, he won't do much.

    It just makes me feel why bother - and for me, it's definitely got to that point. Don't let it get there for her if you do like her. I'm not saying jump in whenever she's talking to another guy; just talk to her. Make your move and ask where the two of you are. Are you together? Are you a couple.

    Be too casual - and she'll begin to think you're not interested.


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 3

  • u need to be more forward with her and show her how you feel about her.. she might think your not into her if you keep that up..

  • If you're interested in her don't be afraid to show it. She might just want the same thing but doesn't want to creep you out. Just be sincere and honest though, and that should help with the trust issues.

  • If you're going to do something you better do it now, don't make her think you're not interested so she friendzones you in her head!


What Guys Said 1

  • Being too casual is a common problem believe it or not. Just walk up to her one morning and say, "I would love to have sex with you, if you know what I mean..."