Relationship illiterate? Yeah I need help.

So, I'm a cute sweet girl. I'm really nice and smart. Awesome sex appeal. Had to throw that in there lol, but here's my problem.

I get guys, very attractive ones. Problem is, the guys I seem to date fit in one of these categories:

1. The jerk- pretty self explanatory. he's fine as hell, fun to be around makes you laugh and then as time goes by he starts treating you like crap.

2. The fix me guy- those sweet guys who make you feel special with their words/actions and as time goes by you realize they're "broken", have massive problems/issues and or seriously need to get their life together.

3. The unattainable- Mr. "Perfect" talks you into a super ridiculously long distance relationship, or is emotionally unavailable or worse, is your best friend and practically thinks like a sister.

I have a problem with rushing into relationships. I'm never ever single for long. How do I take the time to refrain from jumping into relationships with guys before finding out if they're in my unlucky 3 categories... P.S. I'm ridiculously impulsive lol


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I know you probably want guy opinions but I read this and couldn't help my self this was me from high school to the age of twenty differnt bfs all the time more wrong ones then right sometimes the same one twice until it hit me that I wasn't happy in all the pointless meaningless relationships I took a step back realized I was young and there was more to life then a guy being there all the time..I decided I wasn't going to settle...and at first it sucked I would meet guy and they thought of being single sucked but eventually as I talked to people I learned what I didn't want and things I did...I realized I needed to be happy alone first and as it went on it got easier and believe it or not a lot more fun I didn't have anyone to answer to or worry about it was just me and I loved it...and now I'm at the point where I found this guy and talking to him gives me the cute little hschool butterflies and that weird feeling I got when I was crushing hard...and I smile a lot and it's the wow I like him I want HIM...not the relationship stuff or the having someone there but I want it to be him there him doing that stuff with me becasue he makes me happy not just the thought of it all and I believe that's the feeling you should get I think for once I'm not gonna settle becasue it's something I want...but until you realize what you want for yourself the meaningless bullcrap relationships will be there...it's mostly about you and what you want for yourself than them and what type of guy they are...My advice would be take some time don't look for it as hard!

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What Guys Said 6

  • I'd suggest the same thing that the guys above me did - Stay single longer. OR, stay in a relationship longer. See what else you discover besides them being in one of your three categories. Those can classify a guy, but they don't define him.

    Why don't you act impulsively, only the opposite way than you have until now? For example: cute guy is available. First impulse is to enter into a relationship with him. Say "no, Imma wait this one out. Get to know him. See what kind of guy he is when he's not putting on a show"

    Or, next time you find yourself in a relationship with a guy, and you realize he's starting to fit into one of your categories, try sticking around. Stand up to the Jerk and challenge him to treat you better. See what lies below the Fix Me Guy. Why is Mr. Perfect unattainable? is he really so perfect? Or is he just as insecure as the rest of them? Find out who they are beyond your three classifications. And then break up with them, if you need to. So my advise is: go deeper, or stay out altogether.

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  • I'm going to take a different direction from the last few comments. It's not a matter of slowing down. It's matter of making a working relationship. I think you're expecting a lot out of the guy at the start, but then he feels like it's not a balanced relationship if he can't steer the boat every now and then. I think another things is the relationship falls apart because of a) miscommunication b) financial reasons c) losing respect, don't call each other rude names or insult family etc.

    Btw, you're perfect the way you are. Good luck.

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  • Maybe you can take things slower. Like waiting for the guy to ask you out instead of initiating it, hang out with him first before deciding to go on a date with him etc. Use the time when hanging out together to find out about him, ask him about himself, family etc. If at any point of time you are very sure he belongs to the 3 category or if you are no longer interested, it will be easier for both of you to end things. Remember you can always say no.

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  • That's exactly what I don't understand about your girls why do you picked them a**holes pretty boy and then get treated like crap and ya sill be in there ass and question number 2 is all me and I also have a problem with rushing into relationships that's always been my thing because when I was little I use to never get any girls because of my weght but when I turn a teenager I started going to boxing and lost mad weight that's when I start having all the girls but I stopped it before I turn to a player but that doesn't mean when I was a teenager that I lost my virginity when I turn 18 that's when I lost my virginity now I'm 21 and now I just haven't been with a girl for a year and 5 months it's almost about to be 6 months tomrrow

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  • Start enjoying to be single - that will stop you from impulsivity to relationships. If you'll be happy while not taken, you won't rely your happiness too much to some... random stranger.

    It doesn't mean that you shouldn't want a relationship, it's just that you want a relationship too much, and that's not the way to go.

    You must want the other person not just a relationship.

    If you'll be real and do your own thing - the chances are greater you'll find someone who matches with you, and after then a good relationship will develop itself.

    ..right now you seek a relationship and are ready to go even for people you barely know, and after then you realize they're rotten apples - one of 3 kinds!

    You gotta know someone first before having some kind of commitment.

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  • You sound like a fun girl to be around just slow it down a bit when it comes to relationships you have all your life to find the right guy just try and stay single for a while you never know you might like it

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    • Lol yeah I always thought it'd be fun to just be single, but I don't know it gets lonely sometimes then you jump into a relationship. But thanks! Great advice

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