Such thing as a innocent sleepover?

K, so obviously this guys wants me to stay the night at his place and I told him straight up "you know, I'm not down for sex, I'm too young." He basically told me that he doesn't expect sex and understands. He claimed that he just wants to hang out to see me and stuff that we don't even have to sleep in the same bed he would sleep p on the floor and stuff. My girlfriends say go for it but my guy friends are a little more ... they definitely think I shouldn't go. So the question is what are your guys opinions..? am I being naive or my guy friends just a tad over protective ?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • So, I tried to date this girl in high school, after eating lunch I would hold her, lean up against the wall and she would hold me back... when I asked her out she said yes, but before the week was up broke up with me telling me that she only agreed to go out with me because her friends told her to.

    Two years go by, she becomes single and is INSTANTLY talking with me on Facebook wanting sex from me. I was not comfortable with this in the least, but I agreed to hang out with her and spend the night and what not to help her not get in such instant crappy relationships with guys that just wanted to f*** and move on... I saw her like, once a week or every other week spending the night at her place for two or three months, she still wanted sex but didn't get a single lick of it from me.

    Moral of the story, some guys can behave VERY well. but remember, this is just some guys, not all.

    P.S. We slept in the same bed cuddling every night that I spent over there.

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What Guys Said 3

  • A little both. There are some guys who are good enough about this and will respect your wishes. I am one of those people. I have come over to just sleep over with a girl I liked. But yeah there are guys who are not so innocent about it. I say make your own judgement call here. Do you trust this guy? Has he given you much reason not to? If you can trust him, then go for it, but if not then don't.

    I say it's your call. As I said, it can go either way, so yeah it's up to you.

    Good luck.

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    • He hasn't givin meany reason not to trust him and I haven't heard of any reason not to trust him. it's just that he also hasn't givin me any big reason to trust him :/

    • hmm... yeah that's fair. Then if you don't trust him yet, give it time.

  • How long do you know him and how close are you?

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    • I've known him for a few months now and he's buddies with a few other friends of mine and such and we are not super close or anything. We've been talking on the phone a lot lately and I've gone to his house twice now just hanging out and he's been at mine 3 or 4 times and talks with my family like they're all friends and stuff .. :/

    • i'd say its too soon to know exactly what to expact from him and you take a risk as in maybe ending up in a situation you don't want to be in especially if he lives alone. one of my friends had a horrible exp in a similar situation so I might be biassed though.

  • It depends on the guy. But I think that you are setting yourself up for a greater chance of having sex. So, if you don't want to have sex. I would suggest that you don't go.

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What Girls Said 4

  • :) I had to ask myself the same exact thing last year when a damn near identical situation happened to me.

    It honestly depends on the guy in question. It's rare, but there are a select few group of guys out there who have already been sexually active and will hold back from their sexual urges just to be respectful and make a girl feel comfortable. My situation was a tad bit different in the way that it wasn't a planned sleepover. We were dating for a few months and hadn't been able to see each other for a while because we were both extremely busy. I really just wanted to spend some time with him so I texted him while I was out (around 10 p.m.) and was like "Lets meet up :)" Originally, I thought we were just gonna hang out. Then he called me and said "Hey, I have a meeting I have to be at early tomorrow, so do you wanna just sleepover?" At first I was like "No, I'm not sleeping over at your house...what the hell" lolol

    When I got there and we were having so much fun, it became harder to not want to stay there just to spend time with him. I had already told him "We can't do anything sexual. I'm not that type of female that just hooks up with guys." He kept trying to talk me into staying saying "I want you to stay" and "I'll sleep down here on the couch, you can sleep in my bed" Not only that but he was still being extremely sweet even though I denied him anything sexual by offering to give me a back massage and all kinds of adorableness. Long story short; an innocent sleepover is possible. I was falling asleep, yet still undecided about spending the night, so he said he'd wake me up in 20 min and take me home. He told me to get into his arms and lay in his chest. I didn't wake up until the next morning lol he "accidentally" fell asleep too...yet made sure he turned off the t.v. lol (I don't think he accidentally fell asleep :P ) Anyway, I woke up in his arms with him kissing me all over my face and shoulders. He took me out to breakfast. He was a real gentelmen. It was lovely. Innocent sleepovers do exist; you just can't let all the pigs of the male gender make you think otherwise

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  • If you don't trust him or yourself then don't go. It's take two to tangle so if you don't want to then he can't force you to have sex with him.

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  • As these guys have been saying, some guys can control themselves, while others have a more difficult time. Set some boundaries, if you go over. Tell him I he makes a move on you, or makes you feel uncomfortable with the situation in any way, that you will immediately leave.

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  • Be careful.

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