Guys: Who should be the one to pay (on outings), if the guy and girl are in a "relationship"?

Who should pay? Should the guy always pay? or if the guy and girl are in a relationship (not just casually dating), is it OK for the girl to sometimes pay? or the guy to sometimes pay?

Should it be a 50/50 thing just to be fair if they are together?

  • 50/50 just to be fair
    45% (90)49% (53)46% (143)Vote
  • Guy should always pay 100%
    7% (15)10% (11)8% (26)Vote
  • It's OK for the girl to pay once in awhile
    48% (97)41% (44)46% (141)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • If the relationship is not serious then the guy should pay, but when it gets serious the girl should pay every now and then just to make it fair and sometimes split it 50/50.

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    • Wow, thanks... did not expect to get BA. Hell I didn't actually expect anyone to read my answer lawl

What Guys Said 22

  • I'm going to answer your question while momentarily jumping off the subject.

    When I take a woman out on a date, I pick her up at her house. Sometimes I have flowers for her. We go out on the date. If we go out to eat, I pay for it all. No exceptions! If you the man, can't afford to pay for it all, it's time to move back home with mommy and daddy.

    Footing the bill doesn't mean that she owes you anything either. Especially sex!

    When we are through, I take her back home. If she invites me in, we need to have our boundaries in order because temptation will sneak up on us when we're not looking.

    No sleepovers!

    Some say that's old fashioned. I call it respect! I'm proving to her over a long period of time that I respect her and want a lot more from her than some overnight sensation. It tells her that I'm here for the long haul.

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  • I would think take turns would be best, I pay this time, you pay next time.

    Birthdays or other special occasions like that however I would exclude.

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  • Seriously? I'm big on the idea of the man providing for the woman. In any serious relationship I would be ashamed to let my woman pay for my stuff.

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    • i wish more men were like you! they want all the benefits of a r/s without putting in the work

    • So, "putting in the work" means working a job and paying for the woman? Great mindset.

    • LOLOLOL punkofmudd

      Girls want all the liberties and rights men have, you earn as much as we do, yet men have to pay for dates. Can you say hypocrisy much?

  • It depends on the situation. If I'm working and my girlfriend is still in college, I don't mind paying more than her, as long as she pays for herself when she can.

    If we're both working, I'd go with 50/50. But on the first date, I'm pretty adamant that I pay for it. Second one we can go Dutch, third she can pay if she wants to.

    I wouldn't date girl that expects me to pay for everything. Unless she's fine with me expecting her to put out whenever I want.

    That said, if I really like her, I wouldn't mind spending a larger amount to do something special every once and a while.

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    • Downvotes for that middle part? I was just stating that expecting a guy to pay for everything is so out-dated and sexist.

  • I think it should be 50/50 or as the anon below said pay for your own, you don't eat as much as each other. But I never follow this up I always pay for stuff when I'm with a girl, always. I don't do it out of some ludicrous idea that simply because I have a **** I should use my money, that's... That wasn't even done in the 1950s, that wasn't even done in the 1940s, not among the working classes, nor the hips nor the blacks nor the spiks nor even the aristocrats, only the middle classes.

    But I do it 'cause it turns me on. Not gonna lie to you like. I get off on flashing money, haw haw.

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  • I didn't vote because none of the options were acceptable for me. (C "...once in a while?")

    I think money should be out of the issue altogether. If you really want to prove you aren't interested in him for the money, pay for yourself. I'm not even talking about a 50/50 split, or taking turns. Pay for what you bought. Don't mix the material with the immaterial. Plain and simple.

    link

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  • Fairness and Equaltiy is always the best way to work things.

    Some women and men say men should always pay. These are gestures of kindness and shouldn't be exploited.

    Many women want equality between the sexes and a few still expect men to pay after feminism went anti-male with some extremists.

    I don't care either way.

    We're born the same and die the same in a general sense of the phrase.

    So I think honestly, fairness is paramount.

    Things like mother's day, father's day and the two people in the relationship's birthdays all balance out so you can do the whole kindness thing and pay full for the other person (which doesn't mean the person getting a free meal acts a d*** and buys up the menu).

    So in a simple conclusion. 50/50. Keeps everything fair.

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  • If the guy and a girl is in a deep relationship I would say it would be fair to go 50-50. For instance if the guy would pay for one date and then on the next date it would be the girls turn. But there's also other variables like income; like if the girl is a millionaire and the guy is just lucky to get a consistent paycheck then I think it would be fair for the girl to pay most the time, or vice versa.

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  • Personally as soon as you're dating I tend to stop thinking of my money and her money I'll pay more then she does normally but it doesn't matter if you pay more or less. I don't care who uses my money either as long as its one of us and if we brake up and I paid more that will be the least of my worries.

    So I'd say it doesn't matter its our money now though I'll make sure she gets the better deal overal.

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  • C

    If the girl is making more money, or happens to have more cash on that particular day, then she can pay most or all for that day. Some guys would hate that but I think I'd be okay with that. I mean come on, are we so old fashioned that the guy has to pay 100% of the time. Sometimes the girl might be paying as a treat for birthdays or whatever.

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  • Oh god I wish my girl would offer to pay, not that she wouldn't, but as I guy I can't bare to bring it up or ask her... Then again even if she did offer, I think I'd refuse automatically...

    Damn gender expectations!

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  • 50/50 if it's a relationship, assuming both earn similar amounts of money.

    the guy should pay at the start though, for the first couple of casual dates.

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  • First couple dates I would say guy should pay, but in a relationship should be 50/50.

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  • Both should totally pay their own way.

    The whole guys pay thing is just a hold over from the days when men were meant to be the bread winner whilst women were fragile little things who stayed at home and looked after the house for the working man.

    These days where men and women are equal and both have jobs there is just no reason for the man to have to pay except for sexist tradition.

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  • Split 50/50 on dates. Relationship might be different depending on who wants to go out/income earned, or maybe take turns.

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  • I think it should be either split 50/50 or take turns back and forth.

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  • i think they should take turns paying

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  • The guy should always pay even if he is invited by the girl. At least that is how I was raised.

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  • If you're asking then you should be expected to pay. Typically this is the guy so normally he would pay anyways. If the girl is asking then she should expect to pay but if the guy has money for it he should offer to pay or split the bill, just as a courtesy.

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  • I always pay even when I'm out with a friend that's female & not dating but they always offer so I don't mind. When in a relationship it's nice when she pays every once in a while, which she does. A guy shouldn't ever be obligated to always pay, only a spoiled brat would think he should & would make any guy feel like he was taken advantage of.

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  • While dating, you pay for you own things, I pay for my own things. No way in hell I'm doing a 50/50 split with some random girl if she feels the need to order a 10 dollar salad, 60 dollar steak, 10 dollar desert, a 20 dollars worth of drinks and I only order a 15 dollar dish with a 3 dollar drink.

    In a relationship you can take turns and treat each other or go dutch. In the dating game, I'm not paying for a girl or get taken advantage like a chump for a free meal.

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    • Let me guess, you don't date much?

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    • @prettygurl : Good luck going past date 2 in your mindset.

    • Absolutely.

      ROFL at prettygurl. I've heard arguments like this before. One such thing saying "a girl's mere presence should be worth the money." Yeah, fine, place yourself on a pedestal. Completely ignore the Slut/Stud double standard that is caused by this type of thinking.

  • I think if both people have jobs and are making money, they should take turns treating the other. If someone makes the lions share of the money and both people want to go out and do stuff, then the person with better means should be paying more often.

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What Girls Said 35

  • We usually just take turns. It probably evens out to me paying 2/5 of the time and him paying 3/5 of the time, not totally even, basically whoever has money at the time because we do have individual bills outside of our shared expenses. But he makes more money and gets more hours than I do, which is the only reason it isn't totally even. We like to treat each other.

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  • This is the 21st century

    Women can support themselves

    I also dislike feeling indebted to someone or burdening someone so I always try to pay for myself

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  • Truly, it really depends on the individual relationship, because everyone is different. There are no "should" and "should not's." And for people who are not in a relationship or dating to say they would "always" or "never" to things this way or that way, I don't think you know for sure until you are there at the time. Because you may be with someone where the circumstances are so different that you change your mind and want to do things differently. I know I have. I find there are no rules.

    You go with your gut on this one. I will say, that I have dated many men over the past 3 years of all ages (yes, 20s-50s), and each & every time they have offered to pay for everything. Now...I have not let them at many different times for many different reasons because...There are no rules.

    But I guarantee you one thing, if any one of them asked me out & said "but I'm not paying for you," I wouldn't have gone. Not because of the not paying, but because it sounds rude & cheap. And I guarantee if I asked a man out & said "but I'm not paying for you," he wouldn't go out with me either. Then he'd turn to his buddies & call me a cheap b*tch.

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    • Not the same. If the woman said "I'm not paying for you" to the man, the guy would probably think "I didn't say you would", but if the woman says "You're paying for me"...then yeah, the guy would think she was a cheap bitch because that's how she looks.

    • I don't think you're going to get a woman saying outright "you're paying for me." But if you read the posting on GAG...there are a wealth of guys who say that they do indeed say just that to women. And if you read what the guys say on GAG, they do not say that they would respond to a woman the way you sug'd. They say things like, "you cheap b*tch, pay for your own, I'm out of here!." And they aren't all anonymous either. Read around.

  • I pay for my stuff all the time, unless we are out on dinner with his family, or if it's a special occasion and he's taking me out. And even in these situation I make sure I order something within the mean of the price range on the menu...

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  • I think that whoever asked out the other on the first date should pay. Usually that's the guy. Probably at the start dating (the first few dates) the guy will pay, but after that it's just completely silly for the guy to pay all the time. It just is not fair. After the first few dates, they should split paying.

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    • Funny how it only become unfair after the first few dates of a man being "expected" to pay.

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    • Well of course its the damn guy pursuing and asking the girl out. Women expect it.

      Let me as you a question, if your friends want to go out to grab a bite to eat or go to a bar, do you also expect them to pay for you to? Remember they asked you to come along.

      >I don't understand why I got so many down votes. I'm agreeing that its ridiculous for guys to always pay. =Yet you say you think its whoever asked who. Read first point ^1. By that logic guys are expected to pay 90+% of the time.

    • That's bull though. I've asked guys to get coffee or dinner with me and I pay when I do those things. If you never want to pay, fine. You don't have to pay. Ask the girl to take out her credit card on the first date. I'm sure she will.

  • There should be a balance. Sometimes him, sometimes you, and sometimes just pay separately.

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  • I always* offer to split the bill 50/50 and I sure don't assume he's going to pay if we hadn't discussed it prior. So I always bring money first date or not.

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  • I think it should be 50/50 usually but it does depend on other factors. I am a full time student with a part time job and all my money goes to school and car insurance etc. My boyfriend has a good full time job so he pays for a lot of our dates. It doesn't have anything to do with him being a man and me being a woman. If one day I make more money than him, then I'll pay for our dates. but we have been together for 5 years and plan on getting married eventually so its all the same in the end anyways, the way I see it.

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  • instead of 50/50 I like the he treats then girl treats and you take turns that way

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  • I always split it 50/50. I hate guys paying for me, I feel cheap. No reason why and they expect to pay for you so I prefer I half it. :)

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  • I think going dutch is fine...it really dependson who intiates the outing. I typically go dutch and have paid before.

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  • My boyfriend and I pay for our own things. Once in a while he pays stuff for me or I pay for him. We don't make a ton of money. People think it's weird I pay for my things sometimes because I know plenty of people who's bf's pay. It kinda makes me feel bad as if we're weird. =\

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  • My boyfriend makes more money than me and works a lot more, so he pays. I'll pay the tip sometimes or pay for dinner once in a while, but it's mostly him.

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  • If the guy invites he should pay if the girl invites she should pay.

    Now if the guy is always inviting the girl on a date the girl should feel for him and pay every once in a while or for instance buy the popcorn or drinks at the movies while he pays the tickets or vice versa. At a restaurant date I usually always order something near or less to the price of what he is getting now If a girl wants to go all out ordering she should pay for it. & vice versa. I feel it depends on the date.

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  • 50/50. They can treat each other early on in the relationship, but Dutch is the way to go.

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  • why not just split the bills and be done with it? in my opinion, the guy should offer but I would never let him pay.

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  • I think it should be 50/50. Every time I try to pay when I'm with my boyfriend though he gets all upset and says he should pay. I've paid like twice before with him, otherwise he won't let me pay.

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  • My boyfriend really won't let me pay for anything. I'm completely willing to though... I'd even be fine with a 50/50 split. I don't think it's fair to him to have to pay for everything. I know that gets expensive.

    Just for the record, I voted C.

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  • Yea,I think its OK for us girls to pay sometimes:)

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  • I prefer to pay my share, and the whole bill if I can. Why should guys always have to pay for the outing ?

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  • i think it should be split. I fell bad if he pays all the time haha

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  • I would say guy should pay every time and that's because the 2 times I went out to a restraunt with a guy for a date I had to pay and they were over 40 bucks both times

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  • i always at least offer to split the bill

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  • 50/50 for sure

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  • If you are first going out, then the guy. But now it's like 50/50.

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  • It depends on the length of relationship and if boh are working I think 50/50 is fair but I also think it would be cool if the guy treated for while. a

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  • I would rather go 50/50 so I can get what I want on the menu no matter how expensive because I would be the one paying. When the guy pays then I feel guilty if I get anything expensive or a lot of something so I usually end up getting cheap stuff so I don't feel like I'm mooching of the guy. Some guys get offended though because it makes them look like they can't afford a date but I honestly don't care if you can afford me or not. I just want us to have a good time without me feeling guilty or unsatisfied about our eat out.

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  • My boyfriend likes to pay for our dates, but when I specifically plan something like a nice dinner, I pay for both of us. And so far I've been the only one to get him random gifts like a cookie cake and Steve Madden sunglasses. We don't focus on who's paying for what, we focus on making memories.

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  • I think we should take turns or pay for what I ordered. I'm 16 so I don't assume my boyfriend would have sufficient income. I don't like it when if I'm making him spend on me when he only has so little.

    I voted C if I was married or he had a job I expect him to pay most of the time.

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  • I always go to a date prepared to pay even on a first date because you never know. Usually I will offer to go halves but if the guy refuses I always pay the next time.

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