Is it okay to date 2-3 women together until you decide the best one??

I am in my late 20s..dating 2 women together. A third is on the list. None on them know each other.

Is it okay to keep dating all of them (though it kills me due to lack of time) until you decide which one is the best for you?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • well it isn't wrong to keep dating as long as you haven't committed to any one of them or told them you are exclusive because that goes on the level of lying and cheating bastard.

    but if you are looking for a serious relationship, this won't get you there. you either are enjoying the perks without the deal and don't truly want a relationship, or none of them are right so you are just killing time.

    people who are not right for boyfriend/girlfriend can be great casual dating partners!

    if you want a boyfriend or girlfriend I recommend ending all casual relationships. Don't get into a casual relationship. It doesn't become like that until you have been on quite a few dates and regular contact for more than a few weeks. you have to know what to look for or what you want to commit to, but if you realize you do NOT want to commit to her even though you are attracted and have fun (which is what casual relationships usually are), don't continue seeing her! the finish line is what matters, sure dating someone can be fun but if you want a relationship and this isn't the person you want to be in one with, you are just wasting both peoples' time.

    some girls will assume you are exclusive so I would be careful, but it is stupid because girls, you never know until you ask or he makes it very clear. I think you should discuss exclusivity. it can be hard but it's smarter to know. I would bring up my intentions though. if you only want to casual date them say you are not looking for anything serious. you may lose some girls that way but it's better than lying.

    if you want a girlfriend I would go by 3 dates multiple women one month one woman. meaning that if you have not dated anyone more than 3 times it is okay to date a few of them at once but by 3 dates you should pick one of them or none of them. then if you really like one keep dating her for a month and by that time decide if you want to be exclusive. also, don't have sex before monogamy. you can decide to be monogamous by the 3rd date.

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What Girls Said 6

  • It's OK if you tell them and they're fine with it... with all the different types of media these days, I wouldn't be surprised if they found out about each other be sure to try to prevent that.

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    • Cmmon - If I tell them all 3 will kick me out...give me a pracitcal solution please?/

    • well tbh there isn't any practical solution from a girl's perspective. unless you guys are in an agreed upon 'open relationship', dating all 3 till you decide which one is better is certainly not ok.

    • would a normal like get mad if she were to find out by chance...we haven't discussed exclusivity yet..its been all casual!

  • as long as you have not promised exclusivity to any of them it is not wrong.

    i'm in this situation. we have been dating for over a month but we are not exclusive, have never discussed it, nor do I assume it.

    with this particular guy it is a good arrangement because for various reasons I know he is not someone it would work out with long term. but I was not seeing anyone, there is no one serious on the horizon, plus since he isn't my boyfriend I am free to date whoever else I want! (unfortunately I am not at the moment) so I enjoy what I have with him and I do like him and it's better than being single.

    but it gets hard as a girl because especially as time goes on and you get to know him better, he becomes special to you, but you know he isn't giving it his "all" and it makes you feel empty and sometimes even more lonely than when you aren't dating anyone. at least that is my experience.

    i always have to remind myself that he is not my boyfriend. we talk almost every day but if we don't for a day I get sad but then I remember that emotionally he may be "up there" but in reality he's not because he isn't my boyfriend just a guy I'm dating.

    it is also very "don't ask don't tell". We have not talked about exclusivity but he could be dating other women, and it is his right to, but I really do not want to know about it. Nor would I tell him about other guys. But, ignorance is bliss here. I enjoy what I have with him and try not to think about the rest because I'd get so jealous!

    it can serve as a placeholder and someone to enjoy, but casual relationships do not usually lead anywhere serious when they go too long/people are dating others.

    If you are looking for a serious relationship I don't advise dating more than one person beyond a few dates. If you are in ongoing casual relationships for more than a month with several women at once, I don't think any of them are going to go anywhere. Because even though it's half assed, it gets comfortable.

    Half the time I loathe my situation and my heart craves more than he gives me, and I know that deep down. I don't expect it to turn serious but part of me wishes it would.

    I am not a fan of casual relationships because emotionally I want to have more. For men who are less emotional about sex and intimacy, it is a great thing, as long as you aren't lying to the women and saying that there is nobody else. The only reason I got into a casual relationship with him is because I knew it wouldn't have long term potential. I wouldn't enter one with most guys.

    But, tell that to my emotions. They don't feel "casual" about him, and that is what makes this situation hard.

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  • As long as you're completely up front with them about the fact that you're casually dating multiple people and that you're not exclusive with them, then I see no problem with it.

    The minute you lead any of them on to think that they're the only girl, however, we have a problem. That's dishonest, and they are going to be angry when they find out.

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  • I don't think it is a good idea if you are in a relationship. I just currently started getting back on the dating trend but for some reason I feel awkward dating multiple people at once so I never do. I just date one and if we don't click on to the next one. You can pretty much tell from a few dates whether or not you are feeling a person or see a future with them. If not you are wasting their time.

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    • but these women are good to talk to, good in bed...i just wanna hold on to them till I decide..wud that still classify as cheating?

    • If you haven't committing to them but your status would look as if you are a swinger. Are you serious about dating? I know that most people like me would date one person at a time if they were really serious? Who knows those women may be doing the same thing you are doing...smh lol. But I think you should keep in mind that if you are planning on committing to one of them and you are serious you will probably feel guilty about not telling that one person that she wasn't the only one.

  • my current boyfriend did that... he's kindda of a player actually.. even though I'm his only girlfriend at the moment he messes with other girls.. then regrets it and apologizes to me.. it doesn't bother me.. its his bad habit.. as long as he always comes back to apologize and as long as he's always honest I don't mind.. I really love him.. people tell me to stay away from him.. I trust he'll change for me

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    • so your boyfriend and I are in the same phase (though I am not a player)...I got to talk to him..;-)

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    • but what kind of story does he give you every time for you to not get mad at him but accept him with open arms...(I mean in your initial phase with him)

    • it actually started because of me..

      I told him you he should go out with other girls.. he was interested in me and I stayed as a friend.. he's done so ever since.. I fell in love with him after time.. I don't know if I'm just a friend to him.. I love him and he knows it.

  • If each girl is aware of the others and is OK with it, then yes. If not, that's called cheating and that's a bad thing.

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    • why would you say its cheating..i haven't even slept more than twice with any of them? its just casual

    • It's cheating if they don't know about it. Simple sense. Tell them about it. Maybe you'll get lucky and they won't mind, but odds are you'll end up single. Cause girls don't like to share.

What Guys Said 6

  • I don't see anything wrong with it and I do the same thing. You don't have to tell them until they start bringing up exclusivity. This is a relatively new concept so the lines are not clear and you probably are not going to get a solid conclusion. I know plenty of women who do it so it seems fair.

    I don't see why they need to be aware of each other if it is only dating. If they ask I would tell them but throwing it in their face that they are replaceable and that you have options seems douchy.

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  • By rights, they should know that you're not exclusive.

    Technically, they shouldn't assume exclusivity unless you guys have discussed it... but I know from experience, some girls do leap to conclusions and get very annoyed when they find out they were wrong.

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    • Some girls do leap to conclusions and get very annoyed - LOL ! SOO TRUE !

  • There is no other way. It makes sense after all. Keep on doing what work mate.

    Disclaimer: You need to be honest about it. Now, I didn't say "confess" it to both girls at the nearest occasion. Until you agree to be exclusive it's none of their business. But if they ask don't deny it. If you're OK with it so will they be. The stronger frame wins. And you must be OK with them doing the same sort pararell dating.

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  • As long as you're honest about it, yes.

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  • Yes its a great plan! As long as you're not making any one of them think you're exclusive.

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  • Unless your hugh hefner then no. I don't know any girls that would be OK with a guy dating multiple girls at a time its just not right

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