Why do girls get scared away when a really good guy gives them his full attention?

Like when nothing but a really good nice guy shows one girl that he just wants her and has his mind made up. Why does it seem to freak girls out so much? They'd be so much better off.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I really wish I could understand this too. But personally, when a guy SUDDENLY gives me all of his attention and makes it obvious that he’s into me and wants a relationship. I freak the hell out and don’t always understand why. Most of it is just insecurities; it’s a lot of pressure to have somebody so suddenly give you their full attention like that. Often it makes me feel like that person thinks too highly of me and will end up being disappointed- especially when I haven’t known that person long. Another part of it is a fear of commitment and maybe settling too fast?

    It’s silly stuff mostly but in the moment it can be a lot of pressure. When somebody spills all of their emotional guts out in-front of me I feel like its a lot of responsibility to clean it all up. Speaking as somebody with anxiety as well, I need a little more time to think in those situations or I will freeze up or run away.

    In the end, for both people, it’s usually just best to take things slowly and build from there.

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    • great in depth answer! thank you :)

What Girls Said 7

  • If it seems too good to be true, it usually is.

    Girls have been taught to be wary of guys in general, because of things like rape, abuse, and harassment. Personally, when a guy starts being really nice to me out of nowhere, it makes me a little suspicious that he wants something and is just trying to get me to comply. Time spent getting to know the guy in question can quell that fear pretty easily, but it's a knee-jerk reaction that I believe protects me from a lot of scumbags.

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    • when a guy wants to be with someone he knows. it usually doesn't just "come from nowhere" either. it usually comes after at least a little time. or after getting to know the girl on some level. you don't need to date someone to know that you like them.

  • Sometimes its because the girl doesn't feel the same way about the guy (happens the other way round too). If you can imagine a girl who likes you and you don't feel the same way giving you her full attention.

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    • good honest answer :) thanks

  • He's either faking it or she's not use to someone being so kind to her...or he's being a love freak stalker.

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    • love freak stalker? that's a little harsh don't you think?

  • Nothing really dramatic but for a while I wasn't sure if he liked me and as soon as I started to.. realize ...I pushed away. I don't think he does anymore but it's probably better that way. Oh well. He's a good guy and I know he'll find a good girl. There's no hard feelings or anything, things just quietly died out.

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  • the only reason it would freak me out is if I didn't feel like I was "good enough" for him.

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    • why would you even feel that way? if you could go a little deeper into it that would be great :)

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    • I don't think this fear is gender specific... I'd think girls and guys would both get scared when this happen?

    • happens*

  • Some do seem to do that, not exactly sure why.

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    • thank you for your honesty. some girls are in fact, like this. a lot of girls would just dismiss me as another bitter guy that doesn't know what he's talking about.

  • i could ask the same thing about guys.

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    • I'm aware that some guys are like this too. they usually just aren't interested. other times they might not be good guys in the first place, or they may even take advantage of the opportunity and use a naive girl that likes them for sex, or lead her on for a while.

    • i think that's a really simple way of seeing things, but either way my point is both do it.

    • very true.

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