Should I message him after all this time?

Ive been feeling really embarrassed and awkward about the way me and my ex broke up... he called things off and I clung on like the silly idiot and basically caused it to be quite messy and painful.

We haven spoken for about a year and we have a ton of mutual friends... I am completely over him now, I don't want a relationship but I kind of feel like I should message him apologizing once and for all about the way I acted... is this a stupid idea or do you think it will give me closure?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I can't help but feeling that you have "ulterior motives". It doesn't seem like you really only want to apologize. Maybe you aren't consciously aware of your real motives yourself, so I suggest you take some time to think about this thoroughly.

    In general (regardless whether you really only want to apologize or not), I'd say it's not a good idea. Surely, he knows you're sorry. You're not the first woman to act like a silly idiot when dumped, and you won't be the last. After a year, he surely knows how to take that and doesn't need or want an apology. Also, I don't understand why you say you need closure when you also say you're "completely over him". Try to figure out what it really is what you want.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Be honest with yourself about why you want to contact him.

    If it's truly because you want to apologize then do it in person like an adult.

    But if you want to apologize so he'll see how you've grown as a person, and might decide to take you back, then go see a therapist.

    Not saying you're crazy, but everyone needs a therapist, and they are way better than posting questions anonymously online and getting answers from strangers. :-D

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  • Do it

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What Girls Said 5

  • There is no need to contact him.Especially since reading what you have here basically says that you are still only contacting him to try and maybe get him back...even if its only subconsciously. There is NO NEED to contact him about anything.LEAVE IT ALONE.

    OR...risk embarrassing yourself...yet again.

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  • I think you should. I was sorta like that with one of my exes, and I never really apologized. I feel bad, and regret that I never did. I don't want that to happen to you.

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  • HahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahhAaaaaaaaaaaaa

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  • No

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  • Don't feel embarrassed. Nearly everyone who gets dumped attempts to cling on to the relationship for some period of time until they embark on the realization that the person is not worth it if he/she is unwilling to reciprocate feelings. Break-ups hurt a great deal, and they cause even the most sane people to act in a manner that can be construed as crazy.

    I think that messaging him is a fantastic idea because it'll show him that you're a mature person. Don't be alarmed if he doesn't write back because at the end of the day, it's not about him or getting him to give you attention. It's about letting go of the guilt you feel for everything that went on post-break-up.

    Best of luck, my friend.

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