Would you ever date -- and be in a relationship with -- someone with a mental disorder?

Everything's in the question!

[I wasn't sure if I should've put this question in Dating, Relationships, Behavior, or Other. I decided Dating is the most relevant...maybe?]

  • Yes, regardless of which mental disorder he/she had
    16% (5)12% (2)15% (7)Vote
  • Maybe -- it depends on which mental disorder he/she had
    55% (17)50% (8)53% (25)Vote
  • No
    13% (4)25% (4)17% (8)Vote
  • "Other"
    6% (2)0% (0)4% (2)Vote
  • I just wanna see the poll results!
    10% (3)13% (2)11% (5)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • My boyfriend has Asperger's and I've adored him (even the aspie traits) for two and a half years.

    Before he came along, I had a mild crush on a guy who was bipolar but well-medicated for it so he didn't have mood swings. Before HIM, I dated a guy who was acutely depressed (I wouldn't call it chronic depression, it was the kind of thing that needed counseling more than medication). So it really depends. I couldn't date a guy whose mental condition made him lash out, get angry easily, stuff like that. Some things are important, other things are honestly more like personality quirks to me.

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What Girls Said 10

  • My two serious relationships have been/are with people with mental disorders.

    My ex had bipolar, pretty severely, and my current boyfriend has very bad depression, as do I. He is on medication for it though I prefer to tough it out with just therapy. We're very supportive of each other and can be completely empathetic and it really helps because you know you have someone who really does understand you on a level deeper than sympathy. They've been in that place, they can remember and feel what you're going through. It makes things a lot easier.

    I have no problem with it, provided they are taking the steps, like I am, to keep it under control and in check. If they deny it, play it up, leave it unchecked or in any way don't take care of themselves and refuse to change/let me help then I'm done. I don't need to be in that relationship and it's extremely unhealthy.

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  • I have yet to meet someone that isn't crazy in some way, so I think it's more a matter of finding someone whose insanity compliments your own.

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  • I'm positive everyone has some kind of mental disorder - some are just better at hiding it. I probably wouldn't start a relationship with a guy I already know has serious mental issues (schizophrenia, multiple personalities, chronic depression), but if he'd develop something while in the relationship I'd be there for him.

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  • I am bat sh*t crazy, so yes, we might actually have something to talk about:D

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  • Ipicked a bcausi have bipolar disorder and my husband has a mood issue but were still the same poeple and both are on meds

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  • Yes, if it was rooted in neurosis (bad feelings) rather than psychosis (delusions, hallucinations, etc.). The person also has to function and not have bad days like every other day. As a mental illness sufferer myself, I really only have a bad day if I'm physically not feeling well or a whole bunch of events snowball together.

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    • Sorry, I was thinking "mental illness." I think I could date someone with say, synesthesia, but not anywhere on the autism spectrum. I dated two guys who claimed to have Asperger's and I had a hard time with both of them, though I think they used that diagnosis as an excuse to act mean/selfish/immature.

  • The mind gets sick as well as the heart, lungs, skin, bones and blood. We seem to only identify with what we can see., ie cancer.

    The mind is no different and it takes lots of courage to seek help and take the medications to live a healthy life. The pain of a sick brain is just as hard as the pain of cancer.

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  • I think my ex had a mental disorder lol! He just didn't admit it to me!

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  • My ex boyfriend has BD, he wanted to marry me but never saw him as the father of my children...I wasn't sure of the relationship so I decided to leave him for my own good, I felt really sad every time I saw him sleeping all day, he had to take so many pills. I will not deny I fell in love with him, but then he started insulting me and I cannot allow anyone to hurt me like that. He called crying to ask me to come back, why I suddenly stopped loving him, well, I still care about him and think of him but I don't think I'm strong enough to handle that situation.

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  • If it was something like BDD that I would want them to learn to love themselves first

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What Guys Said 7

  • This has been asked before but it is a great question (thus rated 5 stars). I personally would not and by looking at your answers it shows the state of people that have signed up for this site. There are many hurt people here and it is sad to see. See what happens when you Google certain things like "I hate women" "I want to kill myself" " I hate girls" "women are bitches" etc etc. It usually will direct you to gag. I wish well for these troubles angry souls. I wish that unhealthy people would get help and they would not even try to be with another unhealthy person. Crazy will beget crazy. Now bring on the down votes.

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    • "...by looking at your answers it shows the state of people that have signed up for this site."

      Can you elaborate on this?

    • Show All
    • Look at the answers to this question. People are actually willing to have relationship with mentally ill people. I personally would not. I value my safety and sanity. If the people want to have a relationship with mentally unhealthy people (as shown in your answers) that is reflective of their emotional and mental well being. I have dated problem women with all sorts of emotional and mental disorders without knowing it at 1st. The only person that can save them is themselves.

    • Aah OK, never-mind then. I thought you meant "based on the answers YOU have given to other questions."

  • I am, or rather was (not sure anymore), in a relationship with a girl with serious mental disorders (yes, plural). She's been seeing a psychiatrist the past half a year or so but I don't think there's been much progress. As far as I've been able to tell, over the course of the relationship, it only got worse. Maybe I made her better or she hid it really well in the beginning but then it slowly started to come back out over time, but things reached a tipping point recently and I don't know if she's ever coming back now.

    Certain disorders like Autism or Down Syndrome (mental disabilities in general) I don't think I could handle that though.

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  • Sure, as long as it's manageable and she isn't a danger to me or herself.

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  • It depends I guess. Maybe how severe and how much of a strain it would put on the relationship. It's really hard for me to say because I haven't encountered this in real life. If I started to fall for a girl I really don't know if I could turn her away because of that.

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  • i hope they don't discriminate against Asperger Syndrome

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  • I'm always in a relationship that has someone with a mental disorder - me. Depending on how bad life is they may throw heavier terms at anyone, but I'm consistently diagnosed with ADD w/o hyperactivity (no focus), clinical depression, and social anxiety. This site's actually extremely therapeutic because it's a safe way to interact. I may get a d*** who makes a smart assed comment to me, but it's nothing like what I get for speaking my mind in public, where scrutiny *is* society.

    I tried being in a relationship with someone who had a personality disorder (borderline) and she skewered me financially, emotionally, and professionally. I think a lot of different mental disorders tend to have complimentary colors, if you will, that allow pairs to knit together. Look at Smashing Pumpkins. I once read, 'it's the holes and knots in their heads that interlaced and held the band together.' (para.)

    The person with depression, anxiety, add, even ocd can actually make a good partner, if they stay on their meds and/or seek counseling. And find someone who doesn't manipulate their disorders for personal gain, of course. See alcoholics and enablers.

    I think if it's more severe - schizophrenia, psychopathology, sociopath personality, you better have a team for support or be a doctor in psych. I've never known a person (2 out of 2, so not that big a sample, but still...) who could say they walked away unscathed.

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  • Lol when you say 'mental disorder' you are talking broadly.. I can deal with bi-polar..well better than I can a borderline anyways. Lol I prefer to avoid them.

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