How can you tell a good guy from a player?

When dating, what are the warning signs that you're dating a player and the signals that you're with a good man. Sometimes, I tend to go for guys who I think are "good guys" but they turn out to be players so any advise will do.

Updates:
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkkkk...I think I'm a player magnet :( Most of these characteristics are of my exes. I guess I need to wise up :(

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's better to ask "what are signals he wants to hit and quit it or wants to stay?"

    It's kind of hard to tell cause there are always exceptions but here are the most probable signs he wants to stay:

    He says he likes your eyes, laugh, or smile; not breasts or ass

    He tells you things you his best friend doesn't even know

    He gets nervous and blurts out things

    He's shy about telling about himself (mostly cause he's afraid you won't like it)

    And he tells you to not do things that you could potential regret; usually its cause he cares and wants you to recognize the potential harm

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What Guys Said 11

  • Yeah a lot of my friends are players, and som of the signs are if they have a nice ride, and are stuckup. If they have a lot of friends that are girls and hangs out with most of them. If they have money and isn't afraid to let people know and if they have slept with 10 or more girls. Also if they want sex from you within the first 2 weeks of dating.If he doesn't have a strong family bond. LAST THING IS ALSO IMPORTANT! If he turns hanging out with you down all the time to be with his buddies somethings going on

    For a good guy, that is someone that always wanting to be with you has a good job and the most important is that his parents are nice and doesn't seem stuck up. Also its pretty much all the opposite of the above which is the player. Another way to tell is if he is affectionate and pays attention to your needs.

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  • I don't know much about players, cause I'm not one, but I can describe an actual good guy (myself). A good guy isn't likely to just walk up to you and say "hey, baby. how you doin?" it will be more courteous and respectful. respect is a key point here. A good guy will show you that he cares about you. he won't try to show you off. he'l focus more on you and how you feel about things. there's a lot more to it, but yu really just havets learn from experience and pay attention to how guys act.

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  • Wow, look at all these guys knowing about players :)

    A real player won't feel guilt or deep remorse, much in the same way a psychopath wouldn't when they murder someone.

    If the guy did something wrong and acts truly ashamed and saddened by it when he apologizes, he probably isn't a player.

    A small percentage of males are unable to release oxytocin in their brains, and these are your players. Only a very much smaller percentage within that percentage, however, become affected with psychopathy. The latter of course are extremely rare, although detection rate is low (i.e., Ted Bundy).

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  • If he isn't pressuring you for sex consistently

    *BIG INDICATOR*

    If he seems a bit nervous; guys that are "too polished" conversation-wise are usually players.

    For some reason girls just don't get this. A guy that's silky-smooth ALL the time w/o any nervousness or stumbling conversation-wise or "move"-wise AT ALL...is a player.

    He perfected the craft, and girls think "oh wow he's so sexy" and get wrapped up in lust, and blow the fuse to their brain with their supercharged emotion.

    Then that girls become yet ANOTHER casualty for a player, letting her hormones run her instead of her brain or her gut.

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  • Good guys are the ones you don't sleep with.

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  • He isn't trying to get in your pants consistently without giving you a break.

    In fact, I believe the Japanese have a good idea going for them without having sex before marriage, you can then establish if the person you're with is someone you like,and can get along with. Sex is out of the question until that moment. Some may disagree some may not, either way,its a more for sure method then bed hopping every 6 months. or less..

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  • Players usually pay constant compliments. Good guys will want to carry on an intelligent conversation.

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  • A good guy and a player is the same person in my book... a good guy is a guy who wants to settle down with that girl... now the same guy can be a player if he's not looking for a future with that same girl due to how the girl is in life and the way she acts...

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  • How do you define 'player'?

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    • All girls are player magnets. Players hit on way more girls and way more effectively. Most guys are not players but most guys are not as aggressive. It's like... Most people aren't telemarketers but a high proportion of the calls infer are from telemarketers - because they are phoning people all day.

  • Respect, an eye to the future, your input matters, romance, and desire of a good relationship with both your and his families are all signs of a good guy. Bad signs are treating you like a prize, not respecting your wishes or even caring to know what they are for that matter, always flirting are all pretty big signs of a player.

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  • a player may try and initiate sex more quickly and more often

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What Girls Said 5

  • To be honest, on this one I always tell my friends to trust their gut. If something seems off, it probably is.

    This is going to sound a little weird but if a guy sounds too good to be true (too great of a guy) by his own admission, he's probably a player. The truly good guy won't list the things that make him good, and you'll have to discover them on your own, whereas a guy trying to play you has a tendency to tell you all the things that make them great.

    Of course its not a flawless plan, as a really good player is going to trick you every time (or else he wouldn't be any good, lol), but yea. Trust your gut. If it seems off, it probably is. Also, be more in tune with not only what other people say about him but what your friends observe about him.

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  • I don't think at first you can tell , only time will prove if they are or not. I've put trust into guys who told me they hated people who could not stay faithful , and were 100% commited to making the "us" work , then later down the line I've found out they have been playing away.

    I've also learnt if a man throws out the line "Im not like other guys" you should run as far away as you can !

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  • Players tend to be smooth and manipulating. You will have to get to know and feel out their character.

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  • most guys are players.

    they are smooth talkers and become touchy feely too soon.

    trust your instincts.

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  • This world isn't divided by "good guys" and players. Just because a guy isn't a player, doesn't automtically mean he's "good".

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