Has anyone else been with someone that is not attracted to them?

My boyfriend I guess is dating me because he likes the company and we get along. I am kind of attracted to him but he's not attracted to me at all and is obsessed with me trying to loose weight. I am having trouble loosing weight and he's been getting upset about this. Has anyone else had this issue?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I know how you feel...my ex husband always called me a fat ass and pressured me to lose weight...never loved me for just me! It was always conditional and he always wanted to change/control, something about me. In the long run I was miserable and wound up gaining more weight! @237 pounds nearly 100 pounds over weight (a size 18) I met my current husband. He fell in love with me. I am very attractive even with the extra weight and my guy is gorgeous, he is very healthy and fit as well. I have lost 45 pound over the past four years (got pregnant and breasted our son for 6 mos so that halted the weight loss a bit but my point is this. I lost it on my own for me with no pressure and it was effortless. I know my husband would love for me to be physically fit for so many reasons, what guy wouldn't BUT he has never once said a word to me about my weight! He encourages me to do what is right for me and praises my every success! If and when I have set backs he says something encouraging or sympathetic to cheer me up. It is a beautiful thing to be loved and accepted for who you are as you are and it is by far more motivating. I lost 5lbs this week (doing HCG diet) and have finally made it under 200lbs. I am doing this solely for me. He will benefit as well obviously but I am doing this because I am unhappy with my weight not because he wants me to or even because I think he would want me to...feel free to message me if you want a weightloss buddy...

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    • Wow this is a great story. I'm so happy for you I want a guy like that!

What Guys Said 1

  • It's great that you're losing weight, but don't get too down on yourself about not making quick progress.

    It's also great that you've got a boyfriend that wants you to be healthy, but does he want you to lose weight so that you'll be healthier and feel better about yourself, or is it just so you will look better and be more attractive to him?

    Do it for yourself first. If he can't handle you at your worst, he doesn't deserve you at your best.

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    • Ya I'm not doing it for him I'm doing it for me and my health. You bring up some good points I think he wants be to be happy about myself and confident but his main reason for wanting me thin is so that he could have sex with a skinny girl and show me off to his friends. He thinks that he should have the hottest girl just because he takes care of his body and works out a lot but he does not get that even the hottest girl wants a nice guy because some of his personality sucks.

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    • Well if he keeps being an a**hole, you'll get to see if you're strong enough, and confident enough, to leave a guy that doesn't treat you good enough.

      Not all women are, and I wish you the best.

    • Ya my ex didn't treat me right and he left me, I'm not strong enough for that but thank you!

What Girls Said 1

  • Dump him! If he doesn't love you as you are then he doesn't deserve you after you lose the weight! This is not a healthy relationship! Great job on losing weight but you need to do it for you not to save the relationship!

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    • Yes I agree I was loosing weight before I met him but I do want to be with someone who loves me for who I am.

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