How would you handle this? Dating but still see guy online

Ok, so I'm not so stupid to think that the minute you start dating someone you jump off the dating site but I'm surprised to see this guy I just started dating online - more frequently than I expected. He gave me the impression he was a big texter and loved to talk. I definitely saw those traits before we met on our first date (a week ago) as well as the day AFTER the date - when he sent me like 10 texts and then called me that night. But since then, the texts have gotten thin and right now he could be calling me (if he's bored or just wants to talk) but instead he's on the dating site.

Sooooooooooo ... what does this mean and how do you handle it? I'd like to just be like "whatever" (and wish that was my personality) but this is clearly saying to me that I'm "not it" and he's still looking. Yes, of course *I* had to get on the dating site to see that he was on but I actually like him, and part of the time I stay online is because he's online and I don't want it to look like I'm leaving the dating site when he's clearly not. I know he has an issue with us being an hour apart. I thought for sure today that he had blown me off when I hadn't heard from him in 24 hours (and please remember, the only reason I felt that way was because this guy had been texting and calling a LOT and then suddenly *nothing*). But when I queried him this morning he acted like I was completely off-base, that he had just been busy "working". But if he was so busy "working" then why did I see him for at least an HOUR on the dating site at 5:00 yesterday?

He said this morning that he's waiting to see when I'm "coming to visit" but I don't want to just be some tramp to him. I know he wants a relationship, and I want a relationship, so I'm not sure what this is all about. God, I hate dating!

Thanks for any advice.


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What Guys Said 1

  • My guess would be that he cannot properly handle personal relationships, either on-line or in the real world.

    He may have found somebody else on-line.

    A solution may be to move on and forget about him.

    It is curious to note that when I dated on-line and met partners in person, we were perfectly comfortable discussing other people we corresponded with on the site.

    Frequently, I talk to someone on the phone and then continue using the site. The other party appears to be doing the same. I do not consider myself or the other person immoral. All of them seem to be courteous and well-educated. It's just on-line world is a bit different.

    My guess is that if you *really* liked someone, you'd totally forget about everyone else. That would be the behavior on both sides.

    On-line dating provides much wider choice. A person may find it difficult to just stop looking abruptly. Rule of thumb: this person is the right one if and only if he/she behaves honorably towards you.

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