How to stop what I keep doing?

I tend to make guys fall for me all the time ATM I'm currently talking to 4 guys and they all like me a lot. I can't stop being this way. I can't be mean. I just want to make them happy. I have found a way to persuade. Guys. and I can't stop.. what can I do? I also get bored of guys really fast.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Too long winded for the comments section... haha

    I just stopped talking to a girl who overreacted to my interest, so this is timely. She has a web presence, being a photographer and a model, and I'm a novice photographer and design student. So I thought, why not see if this girl will talk to me? I may learn, and make a friend at the same time.

    She had the first intelligent voice I'd read from a model in a long time. I shared a watercolor of her that she'd posted, done by an admirer, and I told her I liked her blog posts. I joked to her about wanting her to be my surrogate, online girlfriend for a while.

    A subtle tet a tete ensued, and then was turned into a very public inside joke, and thanks to her very public assumptions that I was falling madly for her, I let her know I thought she was a fool, and bowed out. Women aren't labeled narcissists very often, it's usually associated with men. I don't know why.

    So the first question is: are you blowing this out of proportion? It may be a matter of needing to take a compliment gracefully. Or of taking an overture as part of a dance, and not a marriage proposal.

    We're lonely most of the time. People see potential mates everywhere, when they're alone. That, and happy couples. So we start wanting to jump the gun and go straight from lonesome to committed.

    It may be that you're just one of those girls everyone would like to be with, day in and day out, because of your attractiveness and personality. So guys will plug you into their happiness equation as soon as you trip a few of their bliss triggers, if you will. That doesn't make them fools. They're not really in love. But they can dream as well as you can.

    It's not cruel of you, to be sought after. It's not a sickness to enjoy attention. And this is just a phase in which your character will develop. On the other end of it, who will the new you be? A vamp that gets a thrill from men losing themselves to passion, practicing the skill of entrapment until she can drive someone insane in a date or two? Or will your persona be tempered, gaining a Sophia Lauren je nay sais quoi that attracts and commands respect.

    You would do best to begin by defining your boundaries and individuality along with your sensuality. Define where and when you will allow yourself, and the man, to move ahead into the next stage.

    I think you will be fine, since you're concerned about them. If you're not, and this is a ploy for more attention, then probably not. I'm going to be an optimist. You should enjoy yourself. Start holding back, letting them lead but setting the speed yourself, occasionally picking the best of the lot to continue dating.

    You'll control your heart when you control time and space. Give yourself time between meetings, space between bodies.

    No one says you have to stop talking to men, run away and join a convent. And some competitive men enjoy knowing they're not the only ones chasing the girl. I'm not one of those guys, but hey, to each his own.

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    • Yea I guess your right this might be a stage. I do care about them but not so much to the point I want something really serious. For some reason I end up leaving guys after I push them to be something great in life and when they reach their goals I leave and feel happy for them.

    • Well, hey, come on by... haha

      I'd like to place my order: you could help me start a design firm, maybe handle all that logical thinking stuff by managing the office for me, wait until it becomes a small giant and we can sell out for several million. Then I'll go into retirement, and you can move on to your next project. ;)

  • It could be a phase, or part of your personality - you may feel like if you don't test out several guys you won't find the One.

    Also, they could each be giving you something you need - one's a good listener, another is funny, one fixes things and the other is just really popular...

    As long as no one has the misconception that they're mutually exclusive with you, it's okay.

    Usually girls who date a lot of guys are only having sex with one anyway, so the others end up being the "he's just a friend" that the sex mate hears about.

    At least that's my experience... I think. Hmmmm.

    One day you might meet one who's not forcing himself on you, that doesn't seem so needy, and then you'll date him. The others that are under your thrawl may not seem like they're potent enough to take seriously.

    If you want to stop feeling like you're making them fall, then I really can't help w/that. We all are responsible for our own feelings. Remind them that you're seeing other guys, and they can be big boys about their own hearts.

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    • I like your answer bt there is a small problem they all get ahead of themselfs and tend to take me very seriously to the point they say they want to be with me for a long time. :/ or for ever.

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